Millennium Item of Time YGO & Zelda Parody
by Yogi Mutoh
Summary: Yami is Link in a Parody of N64's hit ZELDA: Ocarina of Time! Yami along with Yugi, Malik, Bakura, Kaiba, Tea, and others play out the roles of Zelda! Hey they're card players, not heroes. Will the land of Hyrule survive? Story will no longer be contine
1. Hola!

**Millennium Item of Time**

**_Disclaimer:_** I don't own Yu-gi-oh or the Zelda game series! I'm doing this for fun, and in **no **way for personal gain. 

**_Authors Note:_ ** Hi, this is a parody of my second all time favorite game. The idea came to me a long time ago. Plan was I'd use my favorite anime characters and place them as characters in my favorite game. The first time I tried this it was with DragonBall Z characters playing Zelda characters. At the beginning my Fanfics were my friend's sole entertainment (Of course that sounds pathetic, but I have no confidence!), but now I wanted to post some of my fics, and this was the first! 

Now join me in a tale, of a fateful trip, it all started… that's just asking for a lawsuit isn't it… Please don't! I Own nada! Zero! Absolutely Nothing!   


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It was one of those days, a day when something important just _HAS_ to occur. 

"Where am I?" Yami groggily opened his eyes, the only word that escaped were, "GAH!!" 

Yup, this particular day that something had to happen was today. 

Yami jolted up from his resting position. The once Pharaoh of Egypt, who was reduced to living in a puzzle, who beat Pegasus, who is the King of Games, who... ah you get it... blinked several times as he found himself sitting upright on a wooden bed, surrounded by wooden furniture. The odd thing was that there were bright lights all over the place, like there were several fireflys buzzing around. 

"Better than the stone ones from back then, I guess" Implying that in Ancient times perhaps he slept on iron slates. Yes, in Ancient times where he ruled with an iron fist, or rather he believed he had since even he did not know! So if he doesn't have his memories yet, how could he have known it was better than sleeping on a rock bed? It's not good to make assumptions! Anyways…. 

Yami came to and managed to pull himself out of bed. Again, he was surprised and at the same time displeased "Oh for Ra's sake!" 

There was a reason to curse, Yami inspected himself and found that he was wearing a green tunic, with brown belts (happy that he had at least two straps), and white tights! He felt a cold breeze, certainly from somewhere he hadn't expected. 

The Pharaoh took a moment to think, _I knew should have stopped after that fifth drink. But it was fruit punch! Yugi had sworn it was! _How could he suspect that his dear Aibou would want any harm done to him, still here he was, in another ridiculous outfit like in the Duel Monster's Quest. In some way, Yugi always dragged him into these situations. He had more important things to do, like look for the God Cards or punish evil with a light beam, minus the light beam, for he wasn't capable of such a thing. 

He rubbed his head puzzled by his current situation, "I must be going out of my mind!" 

Just then a Kuriboh flew in squeaking as only a Kuriboh could, and releasing his famous "kurrrieee" sound. 

"Grave News! Grave News!" it's voice changing to that of a deep one. 

"Eh?" There was no denying that he heard a masculine Kuriboh speak to him. Who knew that a Kuriboh had a deep voice or that it could speak? Hell, who knew they really existed! 

"The Great Pegasus Tree needs a word with you!" the Kuriboh boomed. 

Like a monkey who was promised a banana, the word Pegasus indicated a duel, so Yami jumped up looking frantically, hysterically repeating "Where? Where? Where? Duel? Is there going to be a duel? Please let it be so!" 

"The Great Pegasus Tree is dying! He wishes to speak to you" Kuriboh squeaked. 

Yami whipped out a party hat and threw confetti into the air. Where it came from no one knows. "Uh…" he hid his party concessions, "...I mean how tragic, I must see him right away!" 

The Kuriboh left the crazy ancient spirit alone in his room. Staring at his apparel one more time, Yami sighed. "Might as well play along for now. Where's my Aibou when you want to yell at him the most?"   


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"So far, so good..." Yami tolled himself as he walked out to the front porch. "…So many Kuribohs." As far as he could tell, Kuribohs followed the residence of this town, probably for stalking reasons, he assumed. 

"Weird..." Yami took three steps and before he knew it-- 

"ACK!" He'd fallen flat on his face; it appears not only did he not wake up in his own home, but it was a tree house.Groaning, Yami pushed himself up, rubbing his face, mumbling incoherently. 

Continuing his way, Yami decided he would question the folks of this place. "Uh, Excuse me sir" Yami gasped, right in front of him was a chibi Celtic Guardian. 

"Yink, the Great Pegasus Tree needs to see you" the Celtic Guardian said. 

"**Yink?!?!" Yami yelled. "Authoress! What's the meaning of this?!?"**

**From the mighty sky, ala Keyboard "Just go with it! All I did was combine the names of you and the part your playing. I think it's nifty!" POOF, the voice was gone. (Yami + Link = Link)**

Moving on, the Celtic Guardian stared at Yami for moment and turned the other way minding his own business with a Kuriboh at his side. "Don't turn your back at me!" Yami yelled, catching the Celtic Guardian's attention once more. 

"Yink, the Great Pegasus Tree needs to see you" the Celtic Guardian repeated, and again turning his back to Yami. 

"Eh?" Yami walked up to the Celtic Guardian again. 

"Yink, the Great Pegasus Tree needs to see you" Yami smacked his head in frustration, W_hat's with this guy, repeating the same thing over and over and over and over...._

After a few minutes.... 

"Better keep moving, I guess" Yami exhaled, dragging his feet. Already he was getting weary of this brightly lid place with chibi Celtic Guardians. 

Off he went to find the Great Pegasus Tree, mentioned by the Kuriboh. The journey was not an easy one, Yami found difficulties on his path to see "The Great Pegasus Tree." And it's not the evil doing kind, no, it was much more painful. 

First it starts with, 

"THIS IS THE TENTH TIME I'VE FALLEN INTO THE WATER!!" 

And., 

"OW!! I SCRAPED MY KNEE ON THESE STUPID BUSHES!" 

Also, 

"HOW MANY TIMES MUST I SLIP OFF THIS STUPID EDGE!?!?!!?!?" 

Then there was, 

"ARGH!!! WHY DO I KEEP RUNNING INTO THESE WALLS?!?! WHY MUST THEY ALWAYS BE IN MY WAY!! OWW!!!" 

Needless to say, Yami was on the brink of snapping into a Yami Malik or Yami Bakura psycho state "I can't take it anymore!!!" Lifting a rock, he threw it against the nearest house. 

"Well whatta know?" Strangely enough, the rocks did no damage. Yami wickedly grinned, "Cool!" 

Yami took his new found knowledge and continued to inflict zero damages, using sticks, rocks, Kuribohs, etc, but after a while he got tired of his newfound hobby. It wasn't the same if he hadn't inflicted any damage. Shrugging, he reminded himself that he might as well get going to see Pegasus, for the King of Games can't avoid a challenge! 

However... 

SPLASH!! He fell into the water again... 

**End of Chapter 1**

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This was pointless fun I guess, and it was my first story. So what do you think? If you review I might write more but if not this will become a lost Yu-gi-oh story. 

Words in Japanese.   
Aibou=Partner   
Chibi=Small   
Yami=Darkness 

**_Random Info: _** Kaiba looks awesome riding a motorcycle!!! He even jumps over a broken bridge! Go Seto! 

**_Random Ranting:_** Did 4Kids entertainment just rename The Saint Dragon Osiris to STIFLER or something like that!?!?!?! (*sarcasm*) How terrifying! 


	2. Um, yeah

**Millennium Item of Time**

**_A/N:_** Wow! Four reviewers! Hey that's enough to get another chapter. I must confess, I haven't played Zelda: The Ocarina of Time in like oh in 4 years… 0_0 YIKES! I need to refresh my memory. This will get random, trust me. I'm currently attending a second school! GAH! The torture! Don't expect another update till I find some sugar. Sorry this chapter is somewhat… er…. Dull…? 

**_Disclaimer:_** I own nothing. Zelda and Yu-gi-oh belong those who I wish I could be, but if you read this story you should be glad that I don't own them. 

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**Prologue**   


Once in the land of Hyrule, or so better known as Dominorule (… just nod your head and go with it all right.) there lived a handsome, regal, young boy who was abandoned by wolfs. 

"Wrong story you nitwit…" 

Well geez, sorry grouchy imaginary voice! Well, how does it go again? Oh yes, there was once a Prince… 

"Have you been drinking?" 

NO! I just can't remember the Ocarina of Time plot… Okay I'll just sum it up. (...Stupid non-existent voice…) One day long ago, a young child was abandoned by his mother and was raised by the Yukori!! (It's Kokori, for those of you who would like to know who raised the real character). 

"I don't think that's how it goes, your forgetting those details…" 

Shut up! And that child was Yami. 

"You mean 'Yink', right?" 

YES! 

"But who in their right mind would abandon Yami?!?!?!?! He's like a God!!!" 

…. Leave it to me to have a fan-girl living in my head…. No wait I am one… Let our story begin! 

"Yeah a pretty sorry for an excuse story! This is poorly written, plot-less, no good— 

Look a Bishie! 

(*Imaginary figure leaves only leaving a dust figure of, well, nothing.*) 

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**Chapter 2: Things get tricky**

Cold and wet, Yami pulled himself up onto a block floating in the water, put there as stepping stones, which he failed to notice earlier. 

"FREEDOM!!!" Yami exclaimed at no particular reason, however this resulted in falling backwards into the water again. "Crummy, crummy world" he gurgled, while submerged underwater. This time, he decided to walk under the water. As he finally reached the shallow of this what he considered "Monstrous 3-foot deep lake/pond", and started crawling out in exhaustion. 

"Land! Oh sweet merciful land, I--!" Yami was only cut off to find himself at the feet of someone. Bringing his eyes up slowly, he dreaded what he saw, for right before him was… 

"Hey stupid Pharaoh!" Yami Bakura grinned smugly. "You finally decided your place!" 

"Bakura!?!?!" Yami jolted up finding he was at the feet of none other than Yami Bakura.. 

"The name's Yami Bido" (Yup you guessed it Link fans, Yami Bakura is playing the role of Mido, Link's childhood rival) 

Silence fell. 

"……" 

"……" 

"……" 

Yami blinked. 

Bakura glared. 

"……" 

"……" 

Then the silence was broken as Yami fell to the floor in a fit of laughter 

"Stupid Pharaoh, you know nothing!" 

"B-B- HA HA B-B-B- HA" Yami just couldn't bring himself to say the words, he kept choking on his laughter. 

"ENOUGH!! Look feeble-minded Pharaoh, you have caught me in a bad mood. I was hoping, for _personal, _evil, reasons that the Great Pegasus Tree would summon me but noooooooooooooooooo it's always you or Yugi. You two are the favorites! You know for once I'd like to hear, 'oh Bakura, we love you, become our Pharaoh and whip us with your almighty power.' But do I even get that, nooooooooo. " 

"Um… yes…" Yami backed away slowly from the ranting Yami Bakura, "I'd like to continue going…" 

"Then I'd like to hear 'Bakura, we'll hand you the Millennium Items, please you've worked hard enough as it is!' But of course you all have to be big (*CENSORED*) and not let me have it. WHY?!?! Why can't you let me rulel!?!? I wouldn't mind a harem either; Tomb Raiders tend to get lonely… " 

Yami's eyes widened. 

"I'm only an evil sprit, I've got needs too!!!" Bakura barked. "Anyways..." clearing his voice. "You must first find a sword and shield." 

"But, why?" sounding almost childlike responding to Bakura's demands.. 

"Because!!!" 

"Why?" 

Bakura began fuming and his breathing changed at an alarming pace. Slowly, he placed his hand over his Millennium Ring "Shadow Game—" 

"ALL RIGHT!! I'm going! I'm Going, you old crow--" Not being able to finish that sentence as Bakura's eyes began to glow. "Whoa…never saw that before"   


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Moments later..... 

"Ow… the soreness" Yami groaned dragging himself a small hill, after surving his last encounter. "Now, where to find a sword." As he reached the top of that hill there was a small crack in the wall. Besides the crack in the wall, was a sign clearly stating "Free Sword, only one shadow game. Come crawl on in!" 

Bowing his head in defeat, Yami couldn't help but moan in utter annoyance. "Not another Shadow Game. Why can't people just play the game fairly!!! I ought to switch back to Solitaire. NO one dies from Solitaire!" 

In the backdrop, Yami sensed a Celtic Guardian calmly walking back and forth at a even pace. "Even if I go in I'll probably have my legs broken to prevent from running away in order to be fed to the darkness. Either that or some sadistic Yami will have me spinning on the wheel of something, every time my life points go down, I spin faster…" 

The Celtic Guardian walked behind Yami for the second time. "Who the hell am I talking to anyways?!?! AH! I'm going crazy!" 

For the third time, the Celtic Guardian walked passed him from behind. This time Yami's twitched slightly in irritation that someone was behind. And, yet again, that same Celtic Guardian passed by for the fourth time. Being that Yami was exhausted, the Celtic Guardian only furthered his impatience. 

Raising his eyebrows mischievously, Yami turned himself to face the Celtic Guardian. As the Celtic Guardian was coming up for another pass, Yami put his foot out and tripped the Celtic Guardian. Dashing as quickly possible, he made a grab for the sword and later would claim, "was left for him to find." 

"Score!" Yami cheered, running, but his clean get-away wasn't so clean as he fell once again into that monstrous pond/lake of doom. 

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Later.... 

"All right" drying himself off, "now for the shield" 

Though, a Celtic Guardian doesn't own a shield, but unknowing to our hero, he still went on tripping several Celtic Guardians in hopes of finding one. Although he hadn't found a shield, all those Celtic Guardians just happened to have dropped some rupies that were "RIGHTFULLY" found by Yami. 

"I'm never going to find a shield… where's some card with a shield walking around when you need one?" 

Nearly at a lost, Yami caught the sight of Yami Bakura a.k.a. Bido… HAHAHA… anyways… polishing his Millennium Ring at the front entrance of the Great Pegasus Tree. Thinking of no other means, Yami came up with a brilliant plan. He conjured up that he should just make a wild dash past Yami Bakura and finally meet with The Great Pegasus Tree. 

"You are a genius, Yami." Yami said slyly to himself. He estimated that Yami Bakura's reaction time wasn't fast enough and he was sitting too far away to catch him. 

"Okay, here I'm off!" He ran but came to a screeching halt, "what the…?" 

"Going somewhere, idiot?" Yami Bakura stood, crossing his arms, looking down at him. 

"But-I… I-I- you were… I was… I ran--- how the?" Yami spoke at a loss for words. 

"You're wearing a skirt and your asking me how this is rational?" 

"Good point. Although, how the hell you defined the law of Physics is beyond me." 

"Feh" Bakura shrugged. "It just happened" 

"Now are you going to let me pass or not?" 

**End of Chapter 2**

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"LAME!! Lame Cliffhanger!" 

Oh shut up. What will happen next, will Yami successfully assault Bakura so he may get through to the Great Pegasus Tree? Find out next time! 

Oh about Yami falling into that pond a lot, that happened to me WHO knows how many times in the game. I kept falling in!!! 

READ and REVIEW!! 

**_Random Info:_** Yami Malik fights against machinery… I'll leave it at that. 

**_Random Ranting:_** Um… not too much to say right now, Well did anyone see that the first part of the episode of Joey vs. Mako. I literally wanted to weep, it's just not right what they did, Kuriboh shouldn't have to cry like that (Facing a God Card can make any man or fur ball cry)!!!!! LOL… actually if you watch that scene in Japanese, it's hilarious! You can hear Kuriboh go "Kurieee" all terrified of the mighty God of Obelisk. Check it out in Japanese if you can, it's SOO funny! 


	3. That's right!

**Millennium Item of Time**

**_A/N:_** Third time must be the charm, right? Well, since I've been playing _Zelda: The WindWaker_, I got a little nostalgic for Link-kun. It also helped that I got TWO reviewers that convinced me to write another chapter. One is **lilagyptian**, who is a favorite Author of mine and the other was **Kippers**. Thanks to you two I'll write another chapter. 

**_Disclaimer:_** I own nothing. The Zelda series and Yu-gi-oh belong to thier respectful owners! 

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**Chapter 3: The Great Pegasus Tree**

"Pharaoh, you've been head-butting me for the last hour… it's sad, _very_ sad." Yami Bakura sighed. 

Pushing with all his might, Yami was like a mad-bull trying to push Bakura, but couldn't even budge him an inch. Several times, Yami concocted the idea that if he pushed as hard as he could, maybe Yami Bakura would move out of his way, but alas it proved to be futile. "Almost…g-g-o-t… it!" 

Finally, Yami slurred to the floor at the loss of of energy. "Pharaoh, oh stupid, Pharaoh, for shame…" Bakura added. 

Taking the chance, Yami kicked Bakura in the shins causing him to hop on one foot. "Ah-ha!" Now was his chance, he ran but again, "Ah, shoot!" Yami Bakura haltered his path again! 

"Here, take this" Yami Bakura, sighed, handed Yami an item. 

"Dun-Dun-Dwan-Dun!" Yami pointed the item to the sky, and tried to imitate a victory hymn. 

"What are you doing Pharaoh?" Yami Bakura arched an eyebrow. 

"Don't know.... why'd you give me this?" Yami asked. 

"I-I-I… don't know either!!!!" Yami Bakura snapped. "Just go away. Meet the tree already!!" 

"But… WHY?!?!" Yami childishly complained, "I _need_ to know!" 

"It's called, 'Pharaoh, let's get this stupid gag over with already'?" 

"O.K... I guess that's good enough" a evil gleam struck Yugi, "But I'm perplexed. This shield you've given me has… blood?" 

"So I killed a couple of Kuribohs, 20 to be exact, I get bored sometimes… no wonder I guard the Pegasus Tree. They must fear me!" Yami Bakura gave a Celtic Guardian a glare, causing him to cower. 

Yami took a hard look at the shield, _what a crummy shield_ he thought. He looked up at Yami Bakura imaptient face, "It's a finely crafted shield, it has such fine marksmanship..." he commented, lying of course. 

"Oh, well you can see I wielded it with a sharp knife, trying to precisely cut every inch to a beautiful---" Yami Bakura realized the stall for time, "Just get going!" 

"But it's scary where the Pegasus Tree… I hear things… strange things…" 

"It's only your impending doom Pharaoh. Just go through the pathway--" 

"Actually..." Yami interrupted, "it's the thought of being left alone with Pegasus and the ominous eeriness that gets me! I fear nothing!" 

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"Oh dear RA, **OH DEAR RA**!!" Yami jumped up and down in fear. "Man-eating plants!!!" Without thinking, Yami ran as if he'd been caught on fire, his arms flapping everywhere, barely missing the Man-Eating Plant's grasp. "HELP ME!!" Then, he crashed into something or rather _someone_! 

"Pharaoh! Snap out of it!" Bakura grabbed the hysterical Yami by the collar and slapped him twice to bring him back to his senses. 

"Thanks Yami Bakura, I needed that" with one swift move, Yami brought his Millennium Puzzle and double-slapped Yami Bakura with it, repeating what Yami Bakura had done, only more painfully. 

"OWW!!" Yami Bakura yelped, rubbing his cheeks. "Stupid Pharaoh!" 

"Why are you following me anyways?" 

"Why not? DAMMIT, Pharaoh, I want to be a star too!" 

"Tsh, Good luck!" Yami remarked. "It's Yu-Gi-Oh!" 

"Right, not YA-MI-OH!" 

"Exactly, not Ya--hey!" Yami protested. "Fine, follow if you like!" 

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Yami finaly reached his destination, the Great Pegasus Tree, and was still followed by Yami Bakura. 

"What the?" Yami yelled. 

"Hello, Yugi-boy" the Great Pegasus was a large Tree, indeed a HUGE, GIGANTIC tree with the face belonging to none other than Pegasus J. Crawford. The Tree was located in an enclosed terrain, allowing only one way in or out. A horrible scenerio for any man that has anything to do with Pegasus. 

"AHHH! This is just as scary as the dream!" Yami yelled nearly pulling out his hair. All the while, Yami Bakura stood nonchalantly to the side, chewing on a Deku stick. 

"Yugi-boy I have an important task I have to ask of you!" 

"Um… sure?" insecurly Yami responded, having no idea what to say. 

"I'm afraid evil has put a curse on me," Pegasus stated. "I need for you to go inside of me…." 

"Whoa! Whoa! There are some things a Millennium Item holder will not do!!!!" 

Off in the way corner, a loud gasp and gagging noises of Yami Bakura rang, "I-I-I-I…cho-c-c-c-ho" 

"No! No! You misunderstand! I have a curse and I need you to find the jewel." Pegasus corrected. 

"PEGASUS!!!!" Yami shrieked. "AHHH!!! MY VIRGIN EARS!!!" 

Of in the way distance, a loud thud ringed, Bakura had passed out. 

"… That can't be pretty…" Yami, a.k.a. for this story as Yink stared wide-eyed at the fallen Yami Bakura a.k.a. in this story as Bido. 

"Yugi-boy, please stop the curse by entering me. Let me open the entrance for you. The entrance located---" 

"AHHHH MIND CRUSH!!!" 

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Moments later. 

"Perhaps I went overboard?" Yink/Yami chuckled nervously to see nothing but a burnt wood on the ground that was once The Great Pegasus Tree. "… I forgot about the extent of my powers…oh well less work for me! Hey! What's that?" Yami went to inspect a shiny green object on the floor. "COOL, a Dark Magician Card in the shape of a jewel. How odd, and yet mysterious!" 

"Hi, I'm the Great Pegasus Tree spout!" A sprout sprang up from the ground. 

"AHHH, MIND--!" 

"No! Wait! I have valuable information on your fate!" 

"Sorry, it's only when I get scared that I Mind Crush someone… It's kind of a defense mechanism, like a skunk, wait…you look awfully familiar…" Yami leaned closer for inspection. 

"Why, it is I Croquet, the Great Pegasus sprout!" 

"Are you sure? I always thought you were his… never mind… um you were saying?" 

"Seeing as you just roasted Master Pegasus there, I'll explain everything! Once I'm done everything will be clear for you" Croquet went on to explain about so-and-so and other stuff. Typical 'this is your fate, you are destined!' 

"Do you understand?" Croquet questioned. 

"Not a damn word, I keep pushing 'A' " Yami shrugged. 

"Just go and meet with the Princess!" 

"Oh, all right you stupid sprout…" Yami mumbled 

"You'll also need a fairy!" Croquet ordered. 

A fairy comes flying in and slams into the wall. Yami formed a teardrop. "Why do I need _that_ for?" pointing to the little pancake figure on the wall. 

"To tell you useless information about killing an opponent! And do whatnot to bother you! Now go! Your aiming is terrible!" 

"I don't need someone to tell me how to aim!" Yami pulled his sword out and wildly stabbed at the sprout, but missing badly. 

"Here let me help you," said the squeaky voiced fairy. "Oh geez, are there supposed to be two of them?" 

With the guided help of the mysterious fairy, Yami was able to pierce the evil… oh wait it was innocent… oh geez Yami, you tree killer! 

"Thanks for helping me!" Yami smiled at the little bright dot. "AIBOU!?! 

"Yes" Yugi grinned, then frowned "Yami, it's me! I'm Yavi, your guide! This is yet another example of how they stereotype me by making me play the shortest character!! " _(A/N: This was expected that Yugi would be playing Navi. Yugi+Navi=Yavi)_

"Well… yeah… But Aibou, there's no other person I'd rather have on my side then you" Yami chirped. 

"Oh, shut up!" Yugi barked, but rather came out as a squeak. 

"Ah, your only pretending to be angry" Yami joked as he tried to give him a friendly pat on the back, forgetting that Yugi was a much smaller figure, and thus swatted his Aibou sending him flying into the ground, hard! "ARE YOU OKAY AIBOU!?!?" 

"Just… peachy…." Yugi said before passing out. 

**End Chapter 3**

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**Hey not bad for another chapter, right? Um don't know if they'll be another chapter, so yeah. Sorry it's kind of rushed, hell I wrote it and I found it to be exactly my kind of humor.**

READ and REVIEW!!   


**_Random Info:_** Mokuba is draws fan art too! This appears in the Noah's Arc, get it? Noah's Arc, AHAHAHAHAHA!! Well, Mokuba draws a Blue Eyes White Dragon Card and gives it to his brother, and from then on, Seto vowed to have that card for real! 

**_Random Ranting:_** Might I say that I'm officially pissed off at 4kids. Those Death Duels aren't the same as they were before. Yes, Kaiba and Yugi loss would mean you fall into the Shadow Realm and not falling to your death from a high altitude. As always, sarcastic comments are a must for me.   



	4. Jolly!

**Millennium Item of Time**

**A/N: **Hey! I guess I will revive this story after all! Well to tell you the truth I'm one to write for myself and only me. I think for every story I've had, the first two chapters were written before I posted them up and were for my sole entertainment. It takes a lot, especially for me to post stories. At first this story was as practice, then my second story was another test for my writing style, and my third story turned out to be the most successful, but the third had the same type of humor as this story (*light bulb clicks*). 

I'll keep this short. I wrote this and I COMPLETELY forgot what I was planning to do with this story! (*Sweatdrop*). It'd been a nearly 4 months when I had written the first two chapters… Actually, since I'm sort of a perfectionist, (what do you mean you 'can't tell'?) I wanted to go by the game's plot as best as I could… I can't remember anything past the forest! I think it was the most haunting for me, its stuck in my head! I spend the most time trying to get away from that blasted place! Forget Ganondorf, that forest was the challenge! …The nightmares I had!   


prep-empress86 – Is it true to the game's story…? I don't know, I thought I was screwing up the game and tarnishing it 

Nemesis – I love Kuriboh too, but Bakura doesn't! 

lilagyptian – My fav. Author! I think I'm writing only for you! I hope I don't kill this story by making it even more plot-less or dumb. I'll try my best! Thanks for the inspiration! 

SennenHimemiya – I fell for a WHOLE lot of reasons! Number one, I'm greedy, so I wanted to get the rupies… forgot how, but yeah you win some rubies if you jump the platforms a lot. Number two, I didn't' want to go around, so I cut through. Number three, when I tried to go around I ended up soaked. I was somehow, naturally attracted to the water! Your review gave me an idea for this chapter, sorry I keep over using that gag in this chapter! 

**Disclaimer:** Now, Link! He come to town!... whoops been listening to that System of a Down song "The Legend of Zelda" Download it if you can. I own nothing! 

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**Chapter 4: Out of the forest!**   


"Aibou…?!?!? Ah, don't tell me I killed my own fairy… I can sense the 'Game Over' scene happening right about now…" Yami groaned, behind him the screen started to give off a little black coloring. 

"Urgh…" 

"Aibou! Thank Ra, I don't want to go through without 'SAVING'… people…" Yami fidgeted slightly with his collar, indicating his nervousness. "The important thing is that you're all right! Your wing's broken, but it's all good!" Yami/Yink cheered, scooping up Yugi/Yavi with hands. 

"Yami!! I can see the light!!!!!!" 

"That's only you, Aibou! You're just a speck of light!" 

"Oh… good I thought I was dying…" Yugi sighed, feeling relieved. "Is… Yami Bakura—" 

"It's Bido!" Yami corrected. 

"Um, yes, is he dead? He looks well done…."Yami turned to see what Yugi was looking at, Yami Bakura laid in the corner completely charred. "Did you just kill him??!?!" 

"No! I swear I didn't do anything to him! The forest burned by itself! There are just Deku seeds and sticks lying all over the place! It's a fire hazard waiting to happen! My Mind Crush had NOTHING! You hear me, NOTHING, to do with a flamed Yami Bakura and The Pegasus Tree!" 

"I didn't say anything about a Tree or even a Pegasus one. Yami! Have you been smoking any of those Deku sticks?" Yugi glared at Yami, as he whistled looking the other way, ignoring Yugi "…I was just asking… looks like he's still alive, but he'll have your dead carcass before him if we don't' leave soon." 

"Give me a sec, Aibou" Yami looked at his own reflection in the sword he held, "Dearest Ra, I'm chibi-fied!" 

"Didn't you notice you were shorter?" 

"No, I thought I was in your body!" Yami responded, referring to Yugi's short body. 

"I'll kill you!" An enraged Yugi began to take several bites at Yami's hand, unhappy with Yami's comment about his height. 

"Stop that Aibou… it tickles!" 

Yugi sighed deeply, "I give up…" 

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~ 

At the entrance of the Great Deku Tree. 

"I feel bad for leaving Bakura behind. Great, now I feel guilty!" Yugi pouted. 

"I don't know Aibou," Yami said, he was currently busy attending to Yugi's wings as he walked. "He didn't seem to be protesting…" 

"Of cour- never mind…" Yugi sighed, as he flew out crookedly of Yami's clutches, his wings somewhat repaired. "So, were supposed to go to find Princess—will you stop that!" 

Cleaning out his ears, Yami looked up, "What? OH… sorry… I wasn't listening…" 

"As you know--" Yami nodded responding 'yes' 'uh-huh' 'sure' as he drowned out all the information that Yugi had told him, "--So that's how you beat the game in an hour… do you understand?" 

"Huh? What? Press 'A'!!!…I mean… Yes! Yes, I understand!" Yami responded to Yugi's question. 

"Good let's get going!" 

"Wait! I see a Rupy!" Yami pointed to the pond. 

"No Yami!" SPLASH "I thought as much…" 

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Together, the team walked out of the Yukori village. Before they could make it halfway across the bridge that suspended above the Forbidden Forest, a voice called out to them, "STOP!" 

"Huh?" Both Yugi and Yami responded simultaneously. 

"Yink! Wait!" 

"It's the coppers, RUN!" Yami yelled. 

"Yami! It's only Tea!" Yugi explained. (A/N: Yes you guessed it, Saria, Link's childhood friend is being played by Tea!) 

"Yink, you finally have a Hikari (A/N: Get it? Instead of Fairy it's Hikari! AHAHAHA!)" Tea waved as she ran up to them. 

"Um sure… Tea I've always had one… no wait! I'm the boy without a Hikari they've been talking about, aren't I?!!?!" Yami moaned. "WHY does this happen to the only good looking Yukori!! 

"I'm right here!" Yugi stated the obvious. "Remember, I'm supposed to help you on your quest! Will you listen to me!?" Yami went on looking in different directions, not even bother to hear Yugi yet again. He should listen to his Hikari; they don't bother you in the middle of an intense battle, throwing you off balance, for not just any reason! 

"Here, Yink, I give this to you!" Tea held out her hand, Yami obliged and took the item from her hand. "A gift to remind you of your friend Taria!" (A/N: Tea+Saria=Taria) 

"I got me a Ocarina, and not just any Ocarina, the Millennium Ocarina of Time!" Yami proclaimed as he jumped up and pointed to the sky. 

"Wait! Yami!" Yugi screamed, but it was too late! With all the jumping up and down, the bridge began to rock, knocking poor Tea off. 

"AIEEE!!!!" THUD. "I'm okay…" Tea rather slurred called out. 

Yami cringed, "that's gotta hurt…!" 

"Your not satisfied till everyone winds up injured or dead!!" Yami screamed. 

"Pretty much…. Oh don't worry Aibou, rulers are supposed to be sadistic… I think… maybe it's a Pharaoh thing!" 

"How comforting…!" Yugi rolled his eyes. 

"Watch out, Grandpa!" Yami warned, "Your next!" 

Yugi, the fairy, slapped himself in utter annoyance. This was going to be one of those days 

And so they exited the Yukori village to setting off the beginning of the adventure that would lead them into utter peril. 

"Um… guys?" Tea called out. 

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~ 

"Out of the forest at last!" Yami stretched his weary arms. "Oh, well that's it for me, I'm going home!" He turned around heading back to his tree house in the Yukori Village. 

Before Yami could return to the place HE JUST CAME FROM, to their surprise a strange owl came from out of nowhere. 

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!" Yami trembled 

"AHH It's probably going to eat me!! I'm small and surely edible! Come wings, FLY!" Yugi tried to escape but he was moving so incredibly slow, and probably moved only an inch. "Ah, shoot! I'm doomed to die!" 

"Hello Yink, Yavi!" 

"It knows my name!!!!!!" Yami cowardly yelped. 

"Will the both of you idiots stop that!?!?" yelled the owl, as Yugi continued to move at .01 inch per hour, and already, Yami had fallen into the river that ran through the land. 

"Look Pa! I found us some dinner!" a young red-haired female yelled. 

"Uh-oh!" the owl hooted. He took to the sky. 

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~ 

Meanwhile, 

"Wings! Fly FASTER! He's gaining on me!" Yugi screamed, not noticing that the owl's departure and that he really hadn't moved at all! 

"AH!! I'm being SLOWLY swept away! Help me Hikari!" pleaded Yami as he was fighting for dear live against those not-so-fast moving waves.   
****

**End Chapter 4**

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Pretty stupid, huh? I have a thing for Press the A button gag and the falling into the water. I'll stop after a while, but it happened SO many times to me, it can't be helped. 

I personally get too involved into video games I read everything that anyone says, but most of my friends and relatives don't. I don't bash, I have nothing against Tea or Pegasus at all, even though it looks like it. I can't recall what happens at this moment after this scene, so I'm skipping parts. I'd rather get rid of them as soon as possible to avoid going into too much details. Wait for the next chapter of MOOT! 

**_Random Info:_** Purpose of this was to give some of you some insight on the Japanese version. Um... lemme see... Originally, the rod belonged to High Priest Seito (Seto Kaiba). Pegasus, Bakura, and Malik aren't the 6 priest of the past! So far, from what the manga has published, Past Bakura attained the Mill Ring (not telling you how!) and took it for himself. 

**_Random Ranting:_** Well, 4Kids does a poor job in dubbing, but I have to say thanks to them for at least introducing the series to me!   



	5. It isn't very good, now is it?

**Millennium Item of Time**

  


**A/N: **I SWEAR I have writer's block! So Yami and Yugi aren't going to accomplish much in this chapter. One more character introduction and even more stupid gags and puns in this chapter. I PROMISE that next chapter will be longer and much more packed with… randomness? Naw, I think this chapter is random enough, I'll stick to the story. Sorry, this chapter lacks that sassy, yet not so sassy, power that the other chapter's had. Anyways, thanks for the support! 

lilagyptian – The support you give me! I can keep writing, even if it doesn't' come out the way I inteded. Hm… I think this story will go to multiple chapters. I think once school's over then I'd be able to bring out my more creative writing. Please bear with me, I'm just too tired! But I don't want to stop writing, no matter how stupid it may be. Just a sign to keep improving. By the way, please continue with your story "Too many on an Island" 

Princess Ria – Somehow I think dirty things when I play Rated E games and pure one's when playing Rated M… I need to seek professional help, don't I? 

SennenHimemiya – When you asked me how many times I landed in the water, an idea sparked! I'm serious, I interpret a lot from a review. So keep reviewing, because if not, a chapter like this one may turn up! 

Kippers – WAH! Thank you awesome reviewer. I'm glad you think so! Hope to hear from you soon! 

Disclaimer: If I owned anything, do you think I'd make a story so weird, and spoof my own show. If you didn't know the answer to that, then no I dont' own anything!   


**_Chapter 5: Still not getting places_**

At some point, Yami a.k.a. for the purposes of this story is Yink, finally reached the end of the semi-long river of 'death' 

"Boy this quote death unquote river sure is cold…" Yami sat at the bank of river, sitting cross-legged and becoming rather impatient. "Where's my Aibou, I look less insane when talking to myself!" 

"I'm here Yami" 

Yami shifted his eyes upward to find Yugi nestled in his long green hat. "I can here it now, the cries of a thousand fan girls…" It was indeed a cute situation, a chibi, green clothed Yami was staring at his young, adorable fairy on top of his hair. 

The ground rumbled. 

"Oh Kami-sama what's that?" Yugi and Yami stared at one another. 

"This is just like that movie, **_Star Wars_**! When the Wookie shook the surrounding area and ate a goat!" 

"That's the T-Rex from **_Jurassic Park_**, Yami!" 

"Quickly, separate!" Yami shouted, as they did the rumbling stopped. Never EVER create a cut scenario between the hot Yami and lovable Yugi, because you never know when fan girls can come rushing in, destroying the peaceful land Dominorule. 

"Where to go? So many choices, so many homes to burn down with my awesome might, so little time…" Yami stood in the middle of a wide open field, "Say, Yugi, when did it just get dark all of sudden?" 

Looking around, the sky had indeed turned into evening. "I've been standing here for only five minutes!" a moment passed till Yami's loud scream echoed the land, "AH EVIL SILVER FANGS!!" 

From out of nowhere, several, undead Silver Fangs surrounded Yami. "Yugi, help me! Help me!" Yami madly swung his sword, _somehow_ managing to destroying all the Silver Fangs that surrounded him. 

"Yami!" Yugi squeaked, who was of being slowly roasted over a turner by some Silver Fangs. 

"Oh, Yugi, thank goodness you're okay!" 

"Does it look like I'm okay!!!!!?!?!" 

"Well you look a bit tasty…" 

"Yami, we need to work on our communication skills" Yugi narrowed his eyes. "Will you help me get free!!" 

"You smell kind of… savory…" 

"HELP ME NOW!" Yugi barked. 

With some hesitation, Yami drew his sword from his sheath and prepared for an attack. "All right, Silver Fangs… make my day!" 

And by sheer coincidence again, five minutes past and the Silver Fangs disappeared as fast as they came… how CORNY is that!!!! 

"Yami! Please, stop pouring A1 sauce on me!" 

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At last, Yami and Yugi made it to the foot of the infamous, yet small Dominorule Market Place, a small sector of Dominorule where you have to see the same people the whole day. It was indeed hell! 

"Finally…"Yami sighed in relief, he took one step, and quickly stopped. "Oh no! I'm not falling for that one again! There's no way I'm going to fall into that water aga—OOFF" Sure enough, Yami avoided the water, but he'd forgotten that the draw bridge was coming down, and thus Yami ended up on being flatten. 

"Yami! Oh sweet merciful, Pegasus Tree!" Yugi cried. 

"Look, I'm okay Yugi" Yami pulled his head out, unharmed. 

"I figured as much…" Yugi bowed his head in exasperation "Yami you should be more careful! I'm not going to even ask how you survived that head trauma… " 

"Then quit with your women troubles and let's get going!" 

"Yami...why even bother...?" Yugi sighed, as he followed Yami into the market place of Dominorule. 

At the market place, 

"What the--? They're…" 

"I know Aibou! Who knew they were having a sale! 25% off potions. I save one whole rupy!" 

"Yami! That's not it! They're moving in sync!" 

"Yugi, I won't judge your taste in music…" 

0"Not, N*Sync!!" Yugi rambled incoherently, as they went further beyond the market place, and made their way to the entrance of Dominorule Castle. 

Huffing and wheezing, Yami stopped walking as soon as he was close to the gate. "Phew, made it up that small hill. I need to get in shape!" 

"Look here you [bleep] guard, you better let me [bleep] in!" a short red haired girl yelled. "Please, don't make me make you an offer you can't refuse. I just lost that owl that was intended for dinner; please don't make me resort to eating those [beep] cows. Even if they think they own the place, I don't want eat such things. I can't eat chicken either, the chicken mafia won't like it if I ate one of it's own." 

"Hey, you!" Yami approaches the girl and swipes the egg, "Gimme that?" 

"Yami! What are you doing?" Yugi asked baffled. 

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm hungry I want to eat some scrambled eggs!" he took the egg into his clutches, but that egg began to crack. "It hatched! Well whatta ya know? It's still edible." 

"No! Yami, you can't. If you cross the chicken mafia in any way by hurting one of their own, they'll peck you to death and throw you into that two-feet river! Imagine! That cold river!" 

"Hey you!" 

"Wow, it's Serenity!" Yugi called. 

"Yugi!" Serenity searched her pocket and pulled out a blindfold, tied it over her eyes, and as sweetly as possible said, "Oh, Yugi. I hope to see my brother duel!" (A/N: Serenity is playing the part of sweet Malon! Serenity + Malon = Salon…. Okay… weird….) 

"Oh, Serenity, don't worry you'll see soon" assured Yugi. 

"Thank you! Yugi, please come visit me at my farm later. I'm waiting for my business partner… er… father! I think he's drunk… I mean sleeping somewhere in the palace! If you see him tell him the deal is going down soon!" Serenity sweetly smiled. 

"Sure Serenity, anything for you!" 

The two watched as Serenity made her way out, using a Deku stick as a guide. Along the way though, Serenity had tripped over a rock, and in anger she yelled, 'screw this!' toke her bandage off and threw it on the ground. Then she went on her merry way! 

"Yami! We're going to have to get into the castle, somehow, look for a way!" 

"No need Yugi, the guard's already down! I love this sword, I just hit him over the head and… why, hello guard man! I don't know how my sword was able to give you that bruise—HEY! Let go of me!" 

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~ 

"Great Yami, you just got us kicked out, now we're back into the Market Place. We have to waste another minute climbing up to the palace gates! The chicken's was also stolen from us!" 

"I have an idea, let's burn the palace down!" 

"Oh brilliant idea, Yami, let's destroy THIS ENTIRE STORY AND HAVE IT OVER WITH---" Yugi stopped in mid-sentence, pondering for a moment, the key players would die in an inferno!. "No! You can't Yami, you'd burn innocent people!" 

"…Too late?" Yami stared wide-eyed. 

"Wha…? AHHHHHH! Dominorule castle is in flames!!!" 

**End of Chapter 5**

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Again, another attempt to be funny. I'm not going very quickly, now am I? I'm just taking it slow… slow is good! 

Review, and sorry this chapter sucks!   


**_Random Info:_** Hmmmm.... oh yeah, there's a side story premering in Japan. The new series is called Doom! . 

**_Random Ranting:_** I think I will officially STOP watching YGO in English, besides I have those episodes on DVD. I don't want another headache!   



	6. Yes, I'm a very desperate person

**Millennium Item of Time**

**A/N: **Again, I've returned! This chapter is VERY weird, but I felt I might as well write it anyways. I was supposed to write this part in the last chapter, but before I knew it I got lazy and ended with the castle burning out… or did it? Ha! Read on, and let's finally meet the princess! 

Ybewd - Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! If you ever do play a Zelda game, play the Ocarina of Time, it's the best one. I can complain a lot of the dub, but it's fascinating to see how they try to make 'their way' believable! Seriously, quite intriguing. 

prep-empress86 – I always laugh when people review my writings, it makes me laugh how weird I write. I loved my idea on the chicken mafia; it made sense if there was one! I'm trying to add horror to the fic by having the chickens be menacing… LOL I'm laughing at that statement… I'm REALLY weird I tell ya! I thank you, once again, for being a cool reviewer! 

lilagyptian - I'd make a shrine to you, if I weren't so lazy! You're awesome! I love the way you review me and the 'darling' added that extra touch! I thought Serenity and Malon's name combined sounded weird, but I think I'll stick to my original naming system. It's more fun that way! I explain why I burned the castle down in this chapter, so don't worry the story shall go on! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being so supportive! 

SennenHimemiya – Hey, first things first! If you have Inu-yasha, can I have Sesshomaru? He's SO MINE! Anyways, during the game I had a tendency to light the whole field on fire or have a drought or something, why can't games be more realistic? I swear those chickens were out to get me. So I beat them up a couple of times, it's so tempting!!! Thank you once again for reviewing. I'm VERY happy that you do! 

Crystal Kitty – Chicken mafia is a big hit! I want to endorse them now, if I had the money to avoid the lawsuits… damn… I thank you for saying this is a good fic, it makes me want to write more! More!! Thanks for reviewing! 

**Disclaimer:** I own nada! If I could own Link at any point, I'd probably ravish him so much that he'd never be the same again. I don't own anything! 

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**Chapter 6: Princess of Dominorule**

"Oh…no" Yugi sulked. 

"This is all your fault somehow Yugi!" Yami glared. 

"Me!? Who's the one with the lighter and the one with fire tendencies?" 

"I know!" Yami exclaimed, and then bewildered asked "who?" 

"Yami…" an exhausted Yugi sighed. 

"Well, that's the end to… hey this isn't Dominorule castle!" Yami proclaimed as he picked up a wooden sign from the charred grounds. 

Peering over Yami's shoulder, Yugi read off what was readable of the sign " Your right! This castle belonged to some princess that letter's began with… "P", looks like the two other letters are missing and it ends with –CH…. Hey look there's a red hat over there!" 

Yami and Yugi, well Yami anyways, ran over to pick up the red hat that lay on the floor. "Look it has an "M" on it. What could it be? …Marco? …Mark? OH RA COULD IT BE MALIK!! Oh don't let it be so! I'd be so BORED with only a duel against Joey and Kaiba in the finals of Battle City! Friendship and rivalry can get sooooooooo boring!" 

"What a minute! There's also another hat over there! And it's Green! Looks like it has a "L" on it" 

"Oh RA NO, not … LISHID?" Yami yelled. 

"It's Rishid, not Lishid! Look there's another one! This one's yellow and has a W!" 

"OH RA NO, not Weevil! Wait, never mind he can just die for all I care! That's what he gets for messing with the all mighty Yami!" 

"NO, Yami, we don't know any of these people!" Yugi corrected. "These don't belong to any of our gang!" 

"Since when have we had a gang?" Yami gasped. " I've been involved in illegal activities?!?!" 

"**What **I meant was, they don't belong to this story or in our group of characters! So don't worry about it! Well you'll have to worry about mass-murder charges that have to be made later... let's just proceed to the _real_ Dominorule castle. Now, no one will ever know about the castle next to Dominorule castle." Yugi sarcastically added, "Thanks a lot Yami" 

"Okay" Yami merrily spoke, as he took a couple of steps he tripped over a large object. "HEY! Who put this 'GREEN' pipe here?" 

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-   


Moving on…. 

"Yay! I made it to the entrance of the real castle!" Yami cheered. "And in incredible timing!" (A/N: blame it on my laziness why don't ya Yami!) 

"I'm almost relieved, yet I feel as something ominous will happen, I just know it" Yugi said. 

"Hey, you kid!" the guard yelled. 

"Thought so" Yugi sighed. 

"Please, step in through the gates. I'm afraid that the latest shipment from the chicken mafia for their 'goods' came in. We're all pretty much disoriented from the product, to notice you go by, so please step inside." 

"How _convenient_!" Yami goofily grinned. Yugi, on the other hand, slapped himself to wake from the shock. Yugi had been doped. 

As they walked across the large garden, they ran into several guards and none of them stopped them. Even when Yami walked behind a couple of them and swung his sword's at them, all they had said was "jolly good!" The chicken mafia is indeed an evil one! 

They eventually ended up taking the back way through, mainly because they were lost and had no other choice since the draw bridge operator for the castle was swinging about like he was Tarzan.. 

As they were about to turn a corner, they say a man passed out in front their path. 

"AH, it's a bum!" Yami yelled. 

"No, it's Santa Claus!" Yugi rolled his eyes. 

"IT IS? Wait, Yugi, you know how gullible I am!" 

"Just wake him up, Yami! Try using the chicken we lost and _could_ have eaten!" 

"I'll just do it the old fashion way…" Yami lifted his leg and began kicking the unconscious man. "Wake up, damn you!" 

"Urgh" the man uttered. "I must have gotten so drunk from the milk we produce… wait! Are you with the FDA!?!" (A/N: I think it's the Federal Drug Administration) 

"No. We're from this show called, "King of Games" of something like that…" Yami grinned. 

"Well then, THERE'S NOTHING ADDED TO OUR MILK TO GIVE IT THAT EXTRA "FLAVOR"!!!" 

"Okay, Okay calm down. Uh, your "daughter" asked us to find you!" Yugi said. "Or at least I think she did, actually I don't even care if she did, you're in our way!" 

"If you put it that way, I'm Palon!" (A/N: Guess what, I couldn't come up with anyone else so….) 

"Hey, Aibou, isn't that the freak that we fought for Mai's sake… horror or something like that?" 

"Panik" Yugi said. (A/N: Yes, Panik will play the part of Talon! Talon + Panik = Palon!) 

"What for? I'll just duel him and kick his assets!" 

"Why you little!" Panik was about to attack when he looked to see an angry chicken staring at him from behind. It was giving him that menacing glare! You could barely hear that background they usually play for horror movies. "Uh… gotta! Please visit me at the farm later, I have all the stuff you need for that extra "boost" in the morning!" 

With that, Panik ran passed Yami and Yugi. 

"Okay then... Yami, you're going to have to crawl through that vent over there by pushing those crates so you can jump high enough to cross that small stream of water between the castle and here." Yugi ordered. "Yami? Yami? Where are you?" 

"Sorry Aibou! Yami peered his head behind a hidden door he somehow discovered. "I found this door, you actually thought_ I_ would do such a thing as to jump! I could break a leg and the whole show will fall apart. What's the world without Yami?" 

"A better one" Yugi mumbled. "Okay Yami, let's meet the princess!" 

"Well, duh!" Yami pouted. 

After passing several, giddy guards with no effort at all, they found a small figure standing in the middle of a green opening. The small figure was around Yamis size, and was peering through a mirror. 

"Yeah Baby, Take it off" the figure cheered at the window. 

"We must approach with caution, this is the Dominorule princess of course!" 

"HIYA!" Yami shouted at the top of lungs, ignoring Yugi, and starling the princess. 

The princess jumped and turned to come face-to-face Yami and Yugi. 

"OH HOLY!!! THIS IS DRAMATIZING!!!" Yugi and Yami yelled together. 

"What?" Malik angrily yelled. "This authoress ran out of female characters!" 

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"You're probably saying 'you evil bitch' but guess what I am EVIL! EVIL!! I'm evil! Don't worry this a **NON-Yaoi fic!** I just had an idea that solved my Triforce problem. You'll see in the next chapter! Sorry this was anti-climatic cliffy! I'm excited to write the next chapter peoples! See ya till then! 

By the way, if my hints didn't make things clear, Yami burned down Peach's castle from the Super Mario gaming series. I'm sorry I had the idea after playing Super Smash Bro's Melee.   


**_Random Info:_** In Yugi and Joey's Death Duel, when Yugi is crying, he actually says, "Joey, I love you" More or less, he loves him as a dear friend. 

**_Random Ranting:_** I'm wondering, how on earth are they going to dub the death duel between Yugi and Joey? Come on people, it's going to be a challenge and pretty hard to cover up! 


	7. Sure, why not?

**Millennium Item of Time**

**A/N**:** AFTER you read this chapter, look to the bottom and read. It could answer some questions you might have.**

Well I'm back and this chapter contains two new characters! The roles of Ganondorf and Impa will be revealed. 

By the way, can someone help me on this, how many sages were there and what their names are? All I remember is the Light Sage, the Forest Sage, the Water Sage and the Fire Sage. Help, please? 

Other than that, a lot of my reviews got deleted, but I don't mind, I did receive them and that's all that matters. They weren't posted up, but it meant a lot that I even got them. To those who reviewed twice, you guys really care, thanks! 

To my reviewers 

SennenHimemiya – Yeah I did the same, I forgot to mention this before. I talked to my buddy one time when we first played. I just finished watching a "Godfather" parody, can't remember, and I told her, "wouldn't it be freaky if they were in a mafia. They're probably watching us were we can see! Where's first person view when you truly want it!" So that's my story. You're another one of my beloved Reviewers. I have a lot now! I love talking to you guys. Thank you again, I don't mind thanking you guys, if you guys praise me. I ought to return the favor! To answer your questions, look to the bottom, I hope I explained a bit as to why the story is the way it is! Before I forget, I'm still laughing at that article you wrote! Could you send it again, my stupid AOL lost it! Bye! 

lilagyptian – I used you idea for Mario! I thought it would be so awesome if I did. I couldn't stop cracking up when I saw your review on that idea. I was being lazy in the last chapter, I drugged the guards, I made Yugi find secret passageways, yup, I was being too easy. I'm writing another fic, which does some justice to the lack of girls. BUT that's not the reason why I chose Malik as the Princess. Please, if you don't mind, read the Author's note at the bottom, it will explain why. Thank you once again for reviewing, I feel so uplifted when you do! 

Crystal Kitty – I have played the Zelda the Wind Waker and beat it! Whoo-hoo! I hit the pig a couple of times too, thinking nothing would happen and it TRAMPLED me! It's evil! It's working in cahoots with the Chicken Mafia! (I swear I love that idea!) Being chased by BOTH chicken and pigs scare me. You know what, they were just ASKING to be abused! It's hard to resist the urge! Thanks for reviewing! 

Ybewd – Yup, I recommend you do play the game. It's a classic game for the Nintendo 64 system. I hope this chapter doesn't confuse you too much, I don't think I explain it very well to non-Zelda readers. Whoops. I hope some parts make you laugh. I'm really worried about that death duel episode though. It bothers me how it might be tainted. OH well. Thank you so much for reviewing, hope to hear from you soon. 

Artemis Sakura - Yes! A new reviewer! I would love to see that pic, in fact I would jump up and down till you get annoyed until you do! Don't make me pester you! I warn ya I will. I'm glad you find this funny. That's what I'm aiming for! Thanks a lot! 

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**Chapter 7: What's the story again? You garbled the whole thing!**   


"Malik!!!!" Yami narrowed his eyes, "What are you doing here! I think I speak for everyone here when I ask…. Where's the bathroom? I haven't gone in a looooooong time!" (I forgot to mention, Malik + Zelda= Melda!) 

Angrily, 'Melda' hits Yami on the back of the head. His face flushed with a mixture of embarrassment and anger. "Pharaoh!!!!!" he spat, "This isn't the time! You're going to just have to wait till the end of the game--" stopping in mid-sentence when he heard the loud groans and terrified gasps of Yugi and Yami. Like a mirror, there stood both Yami and Yugi's with their jaws dropped. "Just go when no one's looking" 

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~ 

Later. 

"Okay…So…" Yugi awkwardly spoke "Why are you here, Malik?" 

"It's pretty simple I'm here because--" 

"It za me, Mario!" All three looked up at the rooftop and spotted a very charred Mario. Jumping and landing in front of Yami, "Hah-_lo_!" he greeted. Suddenly he pounced on Yami and proceeded to beating on him. "I'm gonna kill ya, ya _Linguini_!" 

"Boy, the guy can sure jump for someone short and round" Malik looked on bewildered. 

"AH! Malik help him!" Malik eyed Yugi, "Right… forgot… well don't you want to be the one to kill him? It would be only right if you did!" 

"I'm more interested in wagering in a little a bet, 20 rupees says the red guy wins" 

"Malik! That isn't right! Make it 30 and your on!" 

"Deal, Fairy Yavi!" Malik couldn't help but let out a snicker. 

After a while, things started to become a little dull. Mario was still pounding, and Yami was still taking it! Malik was bored; Yugi was tired and concerned for his 30 rupees-- err-- Yami, he was concerned for his Yami!!! 

Malik jumped to his feet and stomped over to the fight "I can't take this anymore! I'm ending this!" 

"Stop!" Yugi pleaded. "It wouldn't be very ethical!" 

"Electrical-smickacal!" Malik rushed up to the fight and with all his might kicked one of the fighters, sending him flying. "And that's the end of that!" 

"Wow, Malik you saved me!" Yami shined his pearly whites at Malik. Malik on the other hand was standing in place, looking stunned. 

"Wah? Yami! What happened to…NOOO!! My rupees! I needed to buy Deku sticks with that!" the upset Malik tugged on his hair. 

"MALIK!!" Yami grabbed him the collar, then double-slapped him with the Millennium Puzzle. "Snap out of it!" 

"Thanks Pharaoh!" Malik bonks him on the head with the Millennium Rod. "Yugi, to answer your question, I am the **_Prince_** of Dominorule. It must have been a typo in the strategy guide …" Yugi glares at Malik, "YES, I know I'm wearing a dress, and it's none of your business why!" Yami joined in and both stared at Malik "Oh! All right! I'll admit I am the Princess, but I'm still all man!!! And I will kill you all! MWHAHAHAHA!" 

"OH, THAT'S RIGHT!" A shocked Yugi yelled. "I completely forgot!" Out of nowhere, and yet suspiciously, Yugi pulls a large book 4 times his size out. "Now there's no need to worry! I have all the secrets and the walkthrough for this game! We're saved!" 

"It za me Mario..._AGAIN_!!" Mario yelled from the rooftop. 

"Not this…" glared Malik. Before any of the boys could react, Mario, using his cliché weapon, a fireball, hurls one at the boys. Leaping out harms way, the only thing charred this time was… the strategy guide! 

"NOOOO!!!" Yugi shouted in agony. "Why can't we have it easy and cheat!" 

And now, for the sake of my obsession with this idea, the chicken, the same as before, appears. This time the attacks Mario, causing them both to fall in the a lake, then swept away never to be seen again… unless I feel like it and only that particular chicken is gone, the Chicken Mafia still lives!!! 

"That was weird." Yami scratched his head, then turned his attention to Malik, who by the way, got bored and went back to staring at the same window as in the previous chapter. 

"Oh yeah… that's it baby!" Malik drooled. 

"That's disgusting, you peeping tom!" Yugi yelled, "Isn't that bad, Yami?" Too late, Yami already ran up to stand beside Malik. 

"Lemme see! Lemme see!" An over-zealous Yami ordered. "HEY! This is a motorcycle showroom!" 

"I know! The way that baby turns on that turnstile! If only it would take of its hood!" Malik said, wiping a tear. "So beautiful…" 

_With a groan, Yami thought Figures, this is rated E, for everyone, and yet its PG-13 story…_

"Yami!" Yugi yelled, "Stop that! Am I the only one not referring to the story directly, we shouldn't be talking about that!" 

_He can hear my thoughts!_

"Damn straight I can!" a proud Yugi proclaimed. "Please guys, let's get this over with! Malik, why exactly are you the 'Princess' of Dominorule?" 

"Didn't the Pegasus Tree explain this stuff to you? How did you get in here?" 

"Er…um…" Yami pulled nervously at this collar. 

"I don't really care actually" Malik commented, Yami sighed relived. "Listen up! Before Life began, before the world had form, three golden Gods descended upon the chaotic land of Dominorule. They were Obelisk, the god of Power, Ra, the god of Wisdom, and Osiris, the god of Courage" 

"Weren't they Egyptian gods?" 

"Hey! They weren't the gods of power, wisdom or courage either!" 

"JUST GO WITH THE FLOW!!" Malik barked. "All right as you know there are THREE God Cards! Osiris, Obelisk, and Ra. The cards together form a shape… a weird one… what kind of shape can you get with three cards together?" Yugi and Yami shrugged. "A brick probably, the.... TriBrick!! Well, the gods created life, blah blah blah… You have to go in search of the three spirit stones in order to open some Temple… um, well I don't know the rest either, just figure it out as you go!" 

"Wow! This is what that Dark Magician jewel I stole from the Tree is about. I can't sell it now!" Yami rubbed his chin, "Or can I…?" 

Ignoring Yami, Malik continued talking "I nearly forgot! There's a bad man who also searches for the cards or the "Tri-brick"! You can see him through this window" Malik pointed. "He's from a place where only women are born and one man born every hundred years… lucky bastard!" 

As Yami peered through the window, he could view a man walking up to the threshold, well not walking… 

Sadly, the poor man was dragging himself across the floor. "Damn Armor! Too heavy for my skinny body! …. Almost… there…" he continued to crawling on the ground, only moving a couple of inches. 

"That's…" Yugi uttered. 

"KAIBA!!" Yami finished Yugi's sentence. 

"Dammit" Seto Kaiba still dragging, not noticing three kids were watching him. "Somehow this is Yugi's fault! Must… convince… King… to…urgh… trust… me" (Am I evil or what, Kaiba + Ganondorf = Kanondorf… odd it would sound the same!) 

Malik turned to Yugi and Yami "You must stop him in some way…by, uh… just do something! 

"Your not much help" 

"Help? You mean I'm helping you!" Malik cried. "I feel so dirty! Rishid! Come here!" 

"Rishid?" Yugi questioned. 

"Yes, Master Malik?" Rishid walked up, turned, and then bowed to Malik. (Again another man takes the fall. Rishid + Impa = Rimpa… it works better than Rmpa) 

"Teach them how to play Melda's lullaby! People ought to adore my song! Then kick them out like the garbage they are!" Malik ordered. 

"All right" Rishid pulls out a fake Millennium Rod "it goes like this!" BANG BANG BANG. He banged the Rod several times in a random rhythm against the concrete wall. 

"Wonderful!" Malik praised, Yugi and Yami were covering their ears. "I would ask you to practice, but I don't like you, so go away! Since they have to find the jewels, Rishid, show them where Death Mountain's at, maybe they'll die or something." 

Rishid ushered the Yami and Yugi out. Malik stayed and waved good-bye. 

But moments later, Yugi rushed back and glared at Malik. 

Groaning, Malik held out the 30 rupees. The fairy took them, happily (and surprisingly since their several times his body weight!). As the Yugi flew away, limping, he mumbled the words, "I'm going gambling tonight!" 

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- 

Outside the castle 

Rishid points a mountain covered in a ring of clouds. "The next jewel is over there." 

"All right!" Yami takes a couple of steps, and does a 180 and goes the opposite direction. 

"Where you going? Get back here!" Rishid yells. 

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- 

Back to Kaiba. 

"…Almost .......there…." Kaiba was STILL crawling across the floor. 

Not even close Kaiba, not even close.   


**End Chapter 7.**   


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**Author Notes**

I'm going to explain WHY I chose the character I have so far. 

Yami / Link- this is pretty self-explanatory. Yugi wouldn't fit the role very well. 

Yugi / Navi – Yami's Aibou, he has the right to be his guardian fairy. 

Tea / Saria – I could have given her the role of Princess, but I liked her as Yugi's friend and as a sage. 

Pegasus / The Deku Tree – The abhor tree foundation is coming after me! I know it! 

Malik / Princess Zelda – Don't be upset, I couldn't have Kaiba be the Princess. See below in the "storyline" section as to why. 

Kaiba / Ganondorf – Like I said, two roles open, I gave my sweetie the Ganondorf gig. 

Rishid / Impa – I couldn't resist! He is, after all, loyal to Malik. If I had chosen Kaiba as Princess Zelda I would have given the role of Impa to Mokuba. You don't want that do you? 

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Now, let me explain the storyline. 

Triforce – "TriBrick" Reasons why are for the shape you can make out of three cards is... nothing except bricks... 

Courage, Wisdom, Power – I thought that the corresponding God Cards should go with the character. It's pretty freaky how well this work out! Think about it, Obelisk, Power, belongs to Kaiba, who wants Power. Osiris, courage, belongs to Yugi, who is the hero of YGO. Lastly, Ra, wisdom, with its three abilities fit better with wisdom because Malik is more knowledgeable if you think about it (i.e. secret message carved on his back) 

Jewels (spirit stones) – I'm making them as though they were duel monster cards. So far all I have done is the Dark Magician as the Green jewel. 

Princess, Hero, and Villain – If you read the "Courage, Wisdom, Power" part I explained why. I needed to place Malik, Yami, and Kaiba into these roles if I was using the God Cards as the replacement for the Triforce. I could have switched the owners, but… I liked my choices. I know I could have had Rebecca as the Princess, but naw, it's no fun that way. I want FUN! 

Ocarina of Time – I named this story Millennium Item of Time… that is bad because well none of them are musical instruments. Thus I created one, the Millennium Ocarina of Time! 

Crossovers – I play Super Smash Bros. Melee a little too much. Well one day, I lost to Peach on her castle and with Link! It was the bomb I tells ya! So this a bit of revenge for burning down her castle along with those annoying toads. 

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**_Random Ranting:_** I'm still VERY mad that they said Kaiba was an "evil sorcerer"! He was a High Priest! KidsWB is setting up for a big fall once those episodes come out! How the heck are they going to explain to the kiddies once those ancinet Egypt episodes are realesed? 


	8. BAWK!

**Millennium Item of Time**

Hiya! 

Let's cut to the chase. I'll thank everyone and get to the story. I don't feel like rambling today. Too worn out! 

lilagyptian – The Mario bit was too hilarious not to use! I couldn't stop laughing at that suggestion. I'm loving your story! You update more often than I do! (for shame, Yogi!). I'm not justifying my choices, only explaining. I have to, I don't want anyone confuse. Thanks for helping with the sages and thanks for the review! 

SennenHimemiya – Hey! Sorry I got a little side-tracked with this chapter so I'll use your article in the next one. I just couldn't fit it in here! It wouldn't have worked and I want to do things right! But I'm so happy you'll let me use your material. Thanks for the name of the sages (I couldn't remember, all I knew was Saria and Ruto). This chapter isn't my usual sugar-high self and it's REALLY short. Sorry about that and thanks! 

Ybewd – I'm so lost on the English dub. Today they barely showed with Joey was versus Yugi in their death duel. I didn't see it (blasted school). Yup I received your reviews, thanks again for reviewing and reading this story, even if you never played the game! 

Artemis Sakura – OMG! The pic was GOOOD! I mean it! I'm going to link it next time, I'm being SUPER lazy today! (it's tearing me that I am!) I love how Malik is being brought to life as the Princess (my weirdness comes to life *sniffle*). THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! 

prep-empress86 – If you read my fic, I'm bringing out your sister's vision in my weird way. Technically, the YGO boys are all Bishoushen (pretty boys) and so they can be easily mistaken for girls. So yeah, I think Malik is the closest compared to Kaiba. I love them both equally by the way. I know, Melda sounded hilarious to me too! It's great how things work out! Bye, Thanks again! 

Crystal Kitty – Yes, how is he going to battle Yami? You'll have to wait and see. I have a plan, I always do… or I think I do, just let me have my delusions. The Wind Waker game was good, only I hoped for better graphics. Despite that, it's still a good game! Thanks for reviewing. 

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**Chapter 8: The Chicken Mafia's Private Meetings!**   


_Yami's Daily Agenda_

Kick the dirt. 

Whistle to self 

Sleep…. 

...Wake up with a dirty feeling and the words, 4Kids.... 

…sleep more… 

Wake up… 

…Fall asleep again… 

Play a card game with self and lose, no one, not even himself could beat, well, him! 

...... 

........ 

........... 

................ 

Well that was a boring (pointless) agenda Yami had! 

Yami felt unfulfilled! Sure he burned down a castle, but it wasn't the right one. Surely he killed off two trees, but it wasn't a whole forest. And then there was the beating up his Hikari, which lived by the way. (Poor Yugi, they're plotting to kill him! … Yeah I know, what else is new?) 

There wasn't anything exciting happening in the land of Dominorule. 

Moping, Yami past by a strange farm. Taking nothing else to account, especially that the WHOLE WORLD laid in his hands, he decided to take a detour. 

"Hi!" Yami greeted as he approached a woman selling something at what appeared to be only a standard "Lemonade" stand. 

"Hi… other Yugi…" he was greeted by no other than Salon/Serenity. She stood there, watching Yami clean out his ears, her voice spoke up once more, "I'll just call you Yink, because number one, in the show I don't know of your existence as a Yami and second… I want to follow the plot a bit." 

Yami's eyes trailed to see Serenity's merchandise displayed across the stand. In a blink of an eye, Serenity hid the stuff, away from view. "We're not selling anything here!" 

"I didn't ask" bewildered Yami said. 

"Good" she menacingly glared, "Because you _didn't_!" 

"I didn't!" 

"Yes you **didn't**!" 

"But I didn't" 

"That's right, you **_didn't_**" 

The least to say, this went on for _too_ long. Being Yami, he simply left after a while, getting more bored, and walked into the ranch, leaving Serenity to continue her glares that could kill a million times over. 

Obviously he was trespassing into a private residence, but people don't care. 

Seriously, they didn't! Everyone left their doors open and hid valuable rupees in pots. No wonder Dominorule had the highest rating of home break-ins. They aren't even force entries, either! These people had no concept of security! 

In fact, a certain boy's fliers were posted all over town, seems a certain someone took the time to plunder and break other people's properties... 

Yami was making his way up the entrance to the farm. Again, another door was left open, allowing him easy access to enter. There he found one of the strangest sights. 

There right in front of Yami's eyes, sat about 10 or so chickens on a large table, only a dim light shining on them. 

"It's the authorities, Bawk!" 

"Shut it" one chicken instructed, "look kid, you ain't see nothing here!" strangely speaking in a New York accent. 

"See here! What are you doing young fellow?" again, strangely another one some with an English accent. 

"I can't believe…" Yami stared wide-eyed, "… how boring this farm is! I'm outta here!" 

(Now, come on Yami! Don't you even notice that several chickens just spoke to you!) 

"I say we offer him to our Godfather!" another chicken strangely in a Russian accent, suggested. Yami on the other hand headed out the door, ignoring whatever they were saying. 

"Indeed we must sacrifice to the great Godfather!" strangely, this chicken spoke with his mind!!! 

In unison the group of chickens cheered, "Hooray for the Godfather KFC!"   


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…Later… 

"I can't believe I betted EVERYTHING on that punk kid, Jink… Wink…" Yugi, the fairy Navi, yelled frustrated. "Ah! I give up, I lost all my money to that Cannonball or was it Captain Dorf, whatever the name was!" 

In the middle of his flying back, Yugi came to a startling revelation, " I forgot about my nightly lottery pickings!" 

(Not that Yugi, the other thing you forgot! He needs help with those gambling problems, huh?) 

"OH MY OBELISK THE TORMNETOR! I FORGOT ABOUT YAMI!" Yugi panicked. 

For the sake of randomness, out of nowhere, a band of Yukori come out playing a melody resembling the song "I'm not going to Panik!" brought to you by the people at KidsWB. 

Horrified, Yugi fly with some unknown agility and power to a farm were he KNEW his Yami would be. Running from a band playing _that_ kind of music was motivation enough! 

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Surprisingly, by the time Yugi arrived, Yami wasn't causing any misfortune. He sighed. It wasn't too bad, all Yami was doing was talking to a slim, taller, farm worker. 

Then, a fight erupted. 

Typical of Yami to get into a brawl, after all it's been about a few minutes since he last caused any mishaps. 

"If only I weren't so short…" little droplets fell out of Yugi's eyes, "people only take tall people seriously! It's biased I tells ya!" 

On the other side, Yami was having a hard time. He hoped in delaying his trip ups Death Mountain. If they named it "Pretty Mountain, with falling little rocks you can use for target practice, hoping to kill some Jorons (Gorons, I'll explain later), then maybe I'd go, but nooooooo" 

"Yami!" Yugi yelled. 

"Oh, right" Yami asked, un-amused by the pathetic attacks he was receiving. "Bandith Keith, are you done?" 

(Well guess what, Bandith Keith is play the part of that… guy…Ingo? Keith + Ingo = Kingo!) 

**End Chapter 8**

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Okay peoples, I know your going to be mad, but I must end it here. I wrote this chapter about a week ago and intended to finish it, however, I don't' think I will for a while and I thought that I might as well post what I have so far. Sorry guys! Forgive me? I'm not so sure when I'll update, might be a month, a week, but I work now and have school again (college bites). Please bear with me! At least I gave you something, right? 

I could have just put an Author's note, but I didn't! I love this story to death, only my time and self are fading. I need time to regain it. I promise a longer, plot-tier, chapter! 

So till then, bye! 


	9. Guess so

**Millennium Item of Time**

  
  


**A/N:** Yay! I have the list for all the Sages! I like to thank you all who submitted them to me! 

Well, little lazy me, I won't be talking very much, but I have a couple of announcements. 

First, I'm glad the story is going so well! It's kind of my little pet project. A release from my other story I MY ME, OH MY! 

Second, this chapter has an article by SennenHimemiya! It was an honor that I'm able to include it in this story! Thank you so much, and people give a big round of applause to SennenHimemiya! 

Third, Artemis Sakura Malikstruelove submitted a picture of Princess Melda (Malik as Zelda!) It was SOOO beautiful to see my twisted idea come to life. If you'd like to see it, E-mail me for it! FF.net doesn't allow me to post it here. 

Lemme take the time to list the characters, as not be confused. 

Link- Yami   
Navi- Yugi   
The Great Deku Tree- Pegasus (deceased)   
Mido- Bakura (charred; couldn't resist mentioning this)   
Deku Tree's Sprout- Croquet   
Saria- Tea   
Malon-Serenity   
Palon- Panik   
Zelda- Malik   
Ganondorf- Seto Kaiba (minus the big nose! I forgot about that, he still looks as Bishie as the day he was born or to say drawn)   
Impa- Rishid   
Ingo- Bandit Keith 

The rest, all in due time my friends. 

**What to expect in this chapter:** Find out more on the chicken mafia, the Gorons (Jorons), and how Yami obtains Epona! 

**To my Reviewers:**

Kimmi23 – Yes this helps. I was had no idea how many sages and their names were. Thank you, that was VERY helpful! 

The Great Priestess of Mykrul – My head spins with many answers, but uh, I'll get to when I can. I'm not good at action and I'm writing this as it comes, so in truth, I don't' know how things turn out in the next chapter. I have general ideas, but nothing tangible. Er, um, all I can say is wait till next time. I might make something up. Thanks for reviewing. 

yami blue eyes white dragon – So that's what ybewd meant. Yes, I'm dense. I do go to college, even if I don't write or act like I do. I blame public schooling system. Feh, what are you going to do? Well, I'm glad and thankful that you're still reading this story, and I hope I don't make it too confusing for you. 

SennenHimemiya – I put in the article! Yeppy! I'm very happy and grateful to use it! I was going to do something more special and funny with it, but I kind of ruined the scenario with my first scene. Yami was supposed to something first, but I screwed up and thought of something else. Hopefully it works out! Thank you SSOOOO much for letting me use it! I don't' go too much into Joron's in this chapter, I only introduce. I'll explain later! 

dream shadow – New reviewer! Yay! Thank for thinking highly of this story. I know I've had errors, thanks for pointing that one out. When I say that it was a side story, I meant to say its an "out of the manga' season. I should explain more. Well they're premiering new episodes that weren't' published in the manga (comic) of YGO. Now the manga is publishing the Ancient Egypt arc, while the anime is on the 'Warriors' story. When I mean 'Death Duels' it means that it involve the loser dying and the winner living kind of stakes. I have yet to see anyone die in one, but the Japanese anime titled the duels as 'death duels'. Those include, Yami vs. Pandora (Arcana), the loser would get cut in half. Another is Yugi and Kaiba vs. the Mask of Light and Dark (Umbra and Lumis); the losers will plunge to their deaths. And lastly Yugi vs. Joey controlled by Malik. The winner receives the key to unlock his chains, the other will be dragged into the ocean and drown. I don't' know how the English explains this, but those are the stacks in Japanese. I haven't seen YGO in English for a loooong time, but I think they explained something about Shadow Realms or something like that. 4Kids didn't' skip a whole season. The first season your referring to is called "Shadow Game" series. It has nothing to do with what you see now, which is dubbed as the "YGO Duel Monsters" series. The first series, "Shadow Game" really sucked, and was different than what is shown now. It'd be confusing to the viewer if they premiered that first, plus it was unpopular. Very so, I don't' even like it, even if it has two of my fav. Voice actors. The show was cancelled, but I think since the manga was so great they gave it another shot, so "Duel Monsters" premiered and it was a big hit! Phew, hope that explains everything! Thanks for reviewing for so many chapters, I'm very happy! 

Head of Kupo Corp – Score, another new reviewer! Hiya! I think partially why I gave Malik the role of Princess, was because I was writing his chapter in I MY ME, OH MY, my other fan fic. So yeah, I was thinking it was either him or Kaiba, and well Kaiba's my idol. Yes, Malik is indeed a hot one! He's so cute! His Yami self is the best and my second fav after Kaiba. Majora's Mask you say… well… um… thing is… I never played that one. (Link: BLASPMEY!) What? I couldn't afford an expansion pack at the time. Sorry but no Majora's Mask, but I will make this a long story, so don't' worry. Thanks for reviewing. 

lilagyptian – I thought the word Jorons would give it away. Ah, well! Yes, I think the chicken Mafia has something to with the misfortune that I had in the game. (I whacked at them, and I paid the consequences.) I didn't get killed as much by the bosses, only Gannon and the chickens killed me… what punks… About the stories, yeah, I think only taking two humor stories are enough for me. I can't, no matter how much, write too much humor. Thanks and see ya! Keep writing your fics; give me a laugh, please? 

Yuzini – A third new reviewer! Yes! I'll keep writing as fast as I can! Thanks for reviewing! 

Erckie – another new reviewer! Cool! You love the fic, huh? Great, that's what I aspire to, to make you laugh (at or with me)! Thanks for reviewing!   


**_Disclaimer:_** I own nada, I dont' even own the game...it got killed by my brother... I miss it so! I own nothing! Nada! 

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**Chapter 9: Chickens and Jorons!**   


"Ouch, my head!" Yami woke up, rubbing his head to ease the pain. He found himself on the shore of the river, having no clue as to how he arrived there. 

"Pharaoh!" 

"Wha…?" he slurred. "Who is it? Who dares to address me?" 

"You don't remember anything do you?" 

Yami scratched his nose, "I don't think I remember much actually" 

"You can't say any intelligent words can you?" 

"I'm pretty sure there were some intelligent words in that." Stated Yami. 

"Oh shut up, Pharaoh!" 

"Wow" Yami looked to the ground to find empty bottle scattered all over the place, "there's a lot of empty Milk bottles here." 

"There's also a stolen horse here." 

"What? How did that happen?" Yami stared at the horse that neighed in acknowledgment. 

"Well I'll tell you, **_START FLASHBACK_**!" 

Flashback. 

**Bakura**: Okay so this is how it went. 

**Yami**: What are you doing back here! I charred… er, um… someone left you for DEAD! 

**Bakura**: I'll explain later, now it's storytime! 

**Yami**: Cool, I've become a narrator. 

**Bakura**: Be quiet! You can't be a narrator! There can only be on narrator in this flashback! 

**Yami**: but I want to be him! 

**Bakura**: You know, the REAL hero of time NEVER spoke! 

**Yami**: Fine, point taken, I'll shut up, old windbag. 

O_kay, here we go, I, Bakura will explain! Pharaoh, you made a trip to the local brewery a.k.a the Ranch/Farm._   
_There you meet with Kingo, although it would be much funnier if it was Bingo, but I'll leave that to our divine storyteller's fault. Turns out Kingo was none other than Bandith Keith, the one who had the NERVE to entrap me with you in that cave, but I won't dwell in the past!_

A_fter a while, you got bored, and meet with Palon at some corner of the farm. He offered you some "refreshments" in return for Deku sticks. Which apparently you swiped from me earlier!_

"Here you go, I robbed this from Bido earlier" Yami handed the Deku sticks to Palon, who cradled them like it was his mother's breast. 

_Not knowing what you were doing, you drank, and drank, and drank, till you got lactose intolerant. Don't ask me how you did._

_However, though you drank the special brand, you got beyond drunk, and that's when you went on your drunken rage/ride._

_First, you began playing your Millennium Ocarina, learned a new song, and then flipped off the owner's daughter and stole her horse. She was sad, or on something, either way it doesn't' matter._

"MWHAHAHA!" Yami cackled as he rode off on Epona, Serenity's beloved horse. 

"Take the damn horse you [beep]. She was too sassy for me anyways, biatch!" spat Serenity as she madly shaking her fist and chugged down her milk. 

_That wasn't the end though, you came back to Yukori forest, and there you DEFILED me!_

Screeching beyond the sound barrier, "AHHHH I'll never get this smell off of me! How DARE you relieve yourself on me!!!" 

_Tea/Saria was recuperating at the local hospital, which you set on fire._

_She's still alive, but you traumatize her._

"Yami, Yami, Yami, Yami, Yami, Yami, don't' come near, Yami, Yami, Yami" and on and on went the crazy Tea. 

_Then, you found Kaiba's secret lair, but you didn't set that on fire, which you should HAVE!_

"I wuv you Kaiba!" Yami slurred. 

"What are you doing here, Yami?" 

_You left, after Kaiba threaten to cut up what makes a man, a man…. your duel cards._

_After that, you fell in a river. Mother Nature beat your mad, drunken state._

**_End Flashback._**

"That doesn't explain why you're here?" 

Bakura sighed, "Yugi's at the race tracks today, I came here to kill you." 

"Wait how do you know all this?" 

"Hidden cameras…I MEAN divine knowledge!" 

"Fair enough, for today, you'll be my Bavi!" proclaimed Yami. 

"Pharaoh, I came to kill—BAVI!?!?!" Bakura's eyes widened. 

"Yes! I have a horse!" Yami cheered and with no hesitation, went over and jumped on the horse, BUT his acrobatics skills weren't all that great and ended up landing on Bakura instead. "Go horse, on to victory! OH Right, I have to play a song for ya, I'll call it Bakura's Melody, since I'll name Epona, Bakura, naw Epona is a better name, but she'll have your namesake for her song." 

He whips out the Ocarina and plays Bakura's Song. 

"I loathe you Pharaoh…" 

"Why do you say that?" sniffled Yami. 

"Have you yet to notice, your not liked very much." 

"No everyone LOVES Yami, isn't that right Yugi?" 

"He's not here." 

"Oh… foiled again, huh?" 

"Pharaoh…" heavily sighed Bakura. 

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- 

"Listen up, up there is the village your supposed to head to. I'm just giving you a head start before I brutally kill you." 

"I'm glad you're here to help me Bakura. It's like we're kindred spirits and--" 

Before Yami could finish what he was saying, Epona came along and trampled over Bakura. Shaking it off, Yami continued on his way, leaving Bakura twitching at the bottom of the steps that lead up. 

He climbed up those massive steps, huffing and puffing. "I'm only skin and bones after all, no build at ALL!" 

Yami found himself looking up a huge sign that read 'Yakariko Village' (A/N: Kakariko). "What's up with all the Y's?" Yami asked to no one in particular. 

At the very end of the village, Yami found a young woman crying. "Um," Yami asked, "Something wrong?" 

"I couldn't pay of by debts! Oh woe is me!" the young woman wailed. 

"What?" Yami, looking confused. Before he could anything more, many chickens dressed in black ninja costumes came swooping in, surrounding them. "Well, this is uncommon." 

"Are you the one they call Yink?" one chicken asked. 

"Um… no…" he shifted his eyes, "but there's a trampled man at the bottom of the gates that can be!" 

"Move out!" one chicken ordered, sounding more military then anything. 

As they left flying, actually walking and jumping since chickens can't fly, a piece of paper fell from one of their pockets. Yami went to pick it up, curious as if he was Curious George himself! 

It read: 

**_CHICKEN MAFIA GAINS POWER_**

_What is worse than the Nazis? What is worse than Saddam Hussein? What is worse than Al Qaida? What is worse than the Sea Monkeys? … The Chicken Mafia._   
_The Chicken Mafia is starting to attack anyone who comes near a member with a horse, thanks to that poor young man who brought the reddish-brown colored mare last week. (By the way, he is doing well; his body cast should come off in 2010 and he should be coming out of his coma any month now.) Every day the Chicken Mafia gains over a thousand new members, it is estimated. They've started putting chicks in brainwashing facilities to train them for the Mafia Military, against humans._   
_The Chicken Mafia was established by the Lord General Chicken Highlord Toede in 1751 in Chad as a secret way of protesting the human consumption of chickens. Chickens started to run away from the butcher, then from the farm, now it's rumored they have their own headquarters in the Canary Islands, where they have started to educate the canaries about the "human axis of evil". Now some of the main members of the Chicken Mafia are boycotting any town that has a butcher. In that case, they mainly stick to their Canary Islands._   
_Every member of the Chicken Mafia has a small device implanted in their brain that lets them use telepathy between one another, since the chicken language is hard to understand. The only language they are allowed to use in their telepathy is a language used between the Manzana tribe in the Amazon rainforest. The tribe leader, Tocino, is suing the Chicken Mafia for its use of his tribe's language. He is expected to lose. We interviewed him last week during court recess and he gave us a very angry, unprintable reply._   
_We must fight this unspeakable horror before they take over the world. One girl, Teme Tame (pronounced teh-may tah-may), of Guatemala, is fighting the Chicken Mafia. Her father has a farm, and is taken many high-ranked Chicken Mafia members. He holds them in small cages and plucks off their feathers while Teme interrogates them for information, which she takes weekly (in a 79-page report) to George W. Bush and Tony Blair) for them to try and resist the Chickens. Her questions these days are mostly about the whereabouts of the leader of the Chicken Mafia, Verminaard. Let's all pray for Teme Tame so she can help us against the terror of the Chicken Mafia._

  
  
  
  
  


Yami finished reading, then looked puzzled, who or what were those people? George Bush? Such nonsense! 

"So that's what happened to that guy with the horse I betted on, Wink? Jink? Ah whatever, he made me lose my money, he deserved what was coming" 

"Yugi!" he turned to find Yugi hovering over him. 

"Hey, Yami, sorry I was gone, I was, um, helping the needy at…the… race… track… and who's more needy then myself." Yugi grinned. 

"Such an angel, Aibou!" 

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- 

Later, after pillaging the village of all its valuables (and finding a nifty shield that fell on Yami), they made it to the gate that lead up to Death Mountain. 

"Say, Yami where are you keeping all of your items. I don't see a sign of that new shield or all those valuables." 

"Where all animated items that pop out of nowhere go" Yami walked up a small path that lead up to 'Death Mountain', "A bank." 

"Halt, you may not go further!" a guard commanded, halting Yugi and Yami. "You may not enter, 'the pretty mountain of non-death'! 

"I thought it was called 'Death Mountain'" Yugi asked, remembering clearly that it was. 

"Seems this game is finally listening to my suggestion!" Yami proclaimed, as mentioned in a previous chapter his idea of pretty mountain instead of Death Mountain. 

"Typo in the strategy guide" the guard answered, with Yugi moaning, dwelling on the fact that his strategy guide burned to a crisp. 

"Are you sure?" Yami asked and then gasped, "It's false advertising!!" 

"All right, All right, you discovered my plot" the guard said, "I wanted people to come if it's called 'pretty mountain of non-death' so I can act all high and mighty and tell them they may not pass. I just wanted to macho and—hey where did that your partner go?" he addressed Yugi. 

"Yami!" Yugi yelled. 

This being Yami we were talking about, he ignored the man's story and tried climbing over the fence. Successfully, he made it to the other side. 

"Look Aibou, I'm so proud of myself." 

"Hey, kid, your not allowed up there, you might die and… I'd be a hero if I rescued you!" the guard's eyes gleamed. 

Yugi and Yami, however, were long gone. They were fast little suckers. 

"Say, Yami, didn't' you mention that little things come rolling down." 

"Geez, Aibou, you expect me to remember something so insignificant as oncoming death from a bunch of furry creatures named Jorons. I can't remember that fact that Malik wants to kill me." 

Yugi stared at Yami is disbelief, he was be so contradicting with himself! 

"AAAAaaaandddd Launch!!" 

Both turned to see an oncoming ball of what would appear to be a normal boulder, but in fact a was an actual Joron.. 

"Might I recommend moving out of the way?" Yugi pointed out. 

"I don't like that idea." Yami pouted. 

"Just do it you fool! You'll be crushed otherwise" 

Yami leaped out of the way. "I feel dirty now, thanks a lot Yugi, I avoided that!" 

"What?!" Yugi angrily yelled, "You were going to be flattened!" 

"Or so you say! You don't know that! It could have been a delicious coconut or something rolling down, coming towards me. In fact, I think I heard it said, 'eat me, eat me'!" 

"Your logic makes no sense!!!" 

"Areh?" the Joron approached them groggily. 

"Right," Yugi spoke, "Forgot about those guys. Okay, Yami, kill him." 

"No, you kill him!" Yami retorted back. "Use fairy dust or something!" 

"You don't have to be stereotypical Yami!" 

"You want to meet our leader don't you?" asked the Joron. 

"Not particularly" stated Yami. 

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- 

And so unhappily, Yami and Yugi followed the directions that the Joron had instructed to them. Yami promptly pushed the guy down the hill before departing to Joron City. He went down happily, though. 

Gleefully, Yami took this time that they walked up to annoy his Aibou "So we get to meet the big honcho, the big cheese, the man, the leader--" 

"SHUT UP YAMI!!!!" Yugi yelled. 

The ceiling began to rumble. 

"AHHH a CAVE IN!!!" 

"NO!!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??!?!" 

"DIDN'T YOU READ THE SIGN!?!?" 

"Naw, it's in a different language and I'll be called a bookworm if I did. Have to keep my pretty boy image." The happy Pharaoh responded. 

"This would be a good time to run!" Yugi warned. 

"There you go again Aibou, for once I'd like to the thinker, HEY why are you all running?" A piece of rumble fell on Yami's head, "Oh… I see… Well I KNOW when I'm not wanted!" he stormed out, going out another exit. 

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~- 

Later. 

"Our city is in ruins" one Joron sniffled. 

"Don't worry, men, er, furry creatures, I Yami, the hero of time am here to save you and-- AIYEEEEeeeeeeeeee!!!!" 

"You didn't have to push him down that hill you know." Yugi saw Yami tumbling down, cursing in Egyptian, English and Japanese! 

"Man, the one time I'm put in charge of something everything goes wrong" the particular Joron moaned, "now I'm depressed. Why don't' people read the signs? Why do people break the signs! I mean I go out every morning to replace them cause _somebody_ breaks them!!" 

"There, There, Joey." Yugi flew to pat his buddy on the back. (Surprise, Surprise people Joey is Darunia! Joey + Darunia = Jarunia. Gorons are named after Joey, so thus Jorons!) 

"Lord Jarunia, the hero of time is coming up back the hill." 

Wheezing and Huffing Yami approached them again smiling, "Here, I'll cheer you up by playing a song!" he pulled out his Millennium Ocarina, " Here you are—ACK!" 

"Was it necessary to push him down the hill again!" Yugi shot Joey eye daggers. 

**End Chapter 9**

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Yes I end it here, I ran out of fuel or what I'd like to call sweet and savory caffeine. 

Good? Not so good? Drop me a line by reviewing, pweety please! They help a lot! 

By the way, I'm proud of those 44 reviews I have, *sniffle* I love you guys!   
  



	10. So sleepy

**Millennium Item of Time**

Hi there! I'm sorry for the LONG delay for this chapter…. Okay I feel way too guilty! Well I'll tell you the factors for the delay. First I got my hands on the Ocarina of Time for GameCube! I played and how nostalgic it was to play again. I played a total of 3 times in the month of July and August. Sadly I forgot how the game went for I played about three different games after that… I have to play again I guess (memory loss, sheesh!) Then I bought three new anime series and watched them on my free time. And lastly I had part of this chapter written up but sigh my computer failed on me (CPU was on life support) and I had to reinstall everything and lost most of my files.   


Well that's enough of the excuses. Let's just get on with the story, shall we? 

**Disclaimer**: Me own nothing! Yu-Gi-Oh is not mine neither is Zelda! 

**Warning**: This chapter makes little sense, I'm sure because i'm currently on 'No-Dos' pills and I dont' know what i'm doing... I can't go to sleep... NEVER take anti-sleeping pills at night!!!   


**_Chapter 10 Joey's Joron City! Or rather known as another non-thrilling chapter, chapter!_**   


"Jo Jo city… is gone…" the mighty Joey the Joron King sniffled. 

"It's okay, all that matters is that we're all alive and well!" 

Out of nowhere, Joey pulled out a fly swap and released his sorrow onto the poor Yugi, who still insisted that though he was a small speck, people should not be stereotype him. "I'm not a bug, Joey!" he yelled as he escaped every swipe that Joey directed towards him. 

Meanwhile, Yami ran up the hill, bruised, but not defeated. Proudly he walked up to Joey who currently had the innocent Yugi in a flytrap that he placed when no one was looking. 

"…Who knew this would be the end of Yugi!" Yugi spoke in third-person as he struggled to remove himself from the sticky trap laid out by his best friend, or rather the now enraged Joron King. 

"Aibou!" Yami shocked to see that he beloved fairy/hikari was defeated at the hands of a flytrap. "… You know, "Aibou" sounds so great when it's said by me!" 

Yugi glared at his Yami, angrily, "A little, help?" 

"But then again, women are fascinated by Yugi and me… why is that?" Yami continued to ponder, "Is it because of the leather? That must be it! Typical women! I _am_ too sexy for my pants!" 

"…" Both Yugi and Joey were silent at Yami's random outburst. 

"Well, there's no helping it" Yami shrugged it off. He then went over to Yugi and promptly yanked the poor Yugi from the trap. (Ouch!) 

"We should be on our way right Aibou!" 

"…" Yugi currently passed out from the pain of being yanked, did not respond. 

"All right then! We'll be leaving with this jewel now!" 

"Jewel?!?" Joey inspected his pockets to find that indeed he was missing his precious stone, which he secretly tasted at nights; the reason was not that Jorons liked rocks; it was due to the fact that he pretended it was a giant "Ring Pop" 

"WHAT JEWEL I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!!! HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME!!" Yami snapped, as he shuffled something under his shirt. 

"I wasn't going to Yami…" Joey corrected him, "You guys!" he pointed to his followers, "One of you must have the jewel!" 

"Sire, he just admitted to having your jewel" 

"He's also the one who destroyed Joron City!" 

"Actually it was him!" Yami lifted Yugi, showing that Yugi was the culprit. 

"YUGI!!" Joey poked the unconscious Yugi. 

"…" 

"How could you Yugi!" 

"…" 

"I finally had my own city!" 

"…" 

"Nothing you say will amend for this!" 

"…" 

"What do you mean it's my fault?" 

"…" 

"Nope, I'm not listening to anything you say, Yugi!" 

"…." 

"I can't stay mad at you Yugi! It's okay buddy I forgive you!" 

"…" 

Yami intruded, "I've never seen the bonds of friendship so deeply displayed as I have now" he wiped away a tear. 

"Sire, aren't you going to speak of our little **_problem_**!" 

"Oh yeah" the forgetful Joey exclaimed, "Yami, I give you this bracelet so you may pick up bombs and throw them and fix our little **_problem_** seeing that I'm too lazy to do it myself." 

"I think I'm quite capable of picking up a bomb without your stupid bracelet!" he fumed in response as he ran over to bomb flower that lay near the vicinity. 

"…Hey! Where's the bracelet that was in my pocket?!" 

Yami ignored him and proceeded to pick up the bomb, and something apparently _jingled_ as he swayed. He bended down and began tugging on the bomb without using the bracelet he swiped.. "… What the…?" 

"Weakling, here I will show you!" Joey announced, repeating the same process and failing the way Yami did. 

"Heh, not so tough now are you?" 

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~ 

**At the steps that led up to Yakariko Village,**

"Phew!" the exhausted Yami exhaled, "Well I'm glad I escaped from being splattered by Joey and Jorons" he beamed, "At least no one's hurt!" 

Unbeknownst to Yami, Yakariko was being crushed from above by Jorons. 

"OH MY SWEET OBELISK THE TORMENTOR!!!!!" 

"WHAT HAVE WE DONE TO DESERVE THIS!!!" 

"OH DEAR SLIFER THE SKY DRAGON, HAVE MERCY!" 

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~ 

**Back to Yami.**

"At least I got this jewel and bracelet! I can just picture the money I'll be swimming in! My plan to become rich will succeed!" 

"…" Yugi was still unconscious. 

"What do you mean I'll fail? Aibou you just don't understand!!" 

"…." 

"Fine then, I will go out on my own without you! Let's see who needs who in this partnership!" 

And with that, Yami threw poor Yugi, who fell down to the floor with a loud thump. (A/N I wonder if that still hurts even if you're not conscious?) 

"I can sense it!" Yami proclaimed to himself, "Another jewel to steal! Pish, who needs Yugi anyways…. I'm getting lonely… oh AIBOU I'M SORRY" he ran as he picked up Yugi, cradling him. 

"…" 

"…Aibou" teary eyed Yami, said. 

"Ah-HA! I found you!" 

"Wha..?" the bewildered Yami dropped Yugi, forgetting him and turning to see whom it was that called for him. "…Rebecca?" 

"Yes it is I, Rebecca Hawkings… or better known as Relda!!" dun dun dun. 

"Whoa! Whoa! Wait a second!" Malik appeared on the scene. "We already have a Zelda! It's me dammit!" 

"Who's Zelda?" Yami asked. 

Rebecca, ignoring Yami, "You fool, you were supposed to be playing the older me!" 

"Fool…?" Malik eyes twitched at the insult. 

"… Are you wearing a dress?" she asked. 

"I'm getting tired of that question!! It's always, Master Malik, why did you put on Isis's dress! Or why are you wearing those hot pants. I think it's fairly obvious that I'm free with my sexuality and—Wait…I play the older you, but he said … RISHID!!!" 

"I'm sorry Master Malik, Yugi won our bet and I was forced to trick you wearing that to embarrass you… I feel it's my fault in some way." 

"Psst, Aibou, do you get the feeling people are contradicting themselves?" Yami asked Yugi. 

"…" 

"Yeah I KNOW!" Yami agreed. 

Rebecca spoke up, "Anyways, you can't be the Princess!" 

"I say we take a vote on it!" Rishid countered. 

"All right, you, Yami who do you pick as Zelda. Me or Malik? Remember there's a love scene in this game!" 

"There is not! Zelda's role is to make Link to all the work!" Rishid shouted. 

"…Love…scene?" Yami happily repeated, thinking of his one and only true love… his deck of cards. To him a love scene was he playing with his deck of cards and not what a typical person would interpret as a love scene. 

"If anyone's going to make Yami do anything against his well, it's going to me!" exclaimed Malik. 

"What do you say, Yugi?" 

Finally regaining consciousness, "Huh?" 

"He said Rebecca!" 

"No he didn't!!!" protested Malik. 

"Whoops!" Yami said, dropping his sword that happened to fall on Yugi, rendering him unconscious yet again. 

"Well I say since Ra is my God Card I ought to have this role seeing as Ra is Nayru! Besides, who wants to see you?" 

Those words sent Rebecca into a wild fit, as she began to push Malik back. She pushed him to the very edge of the river and pushed him in. "Oh no!" she sarcastically said, "Seems Melda went for a swim in the river!" 

"…" Yami was shocked and frightened. He said the first thing that popped into his head, " ALL HAIL PRINCESS RELDA!!" 

----- 

**Meanwhile at the bank of the river,**

"Here, Fishy, Fishy, Fishy…" Kaiba sighed. He took a break from WAITING for some child to fall into his obvious, yet not so obvious, plan. Currently, fishing was the only thing that came to mind. But being that this was Kaiba, all he could fish out as of yet was a can, a boot, a sardine can, fish sticks, a wad of money and Mokuba. 

"I'm bored," he said, as he kept on fishing. The line began to tug, "Seems I caught something!" He struggled to reel it in and as he did he discovered Malik at the other end. 

"…The tribrick of wisdom is in my hand!" he cackled. He then paused, "Wait… this is easy… a little too easy!" 

"Hey, Kaiba, I'm ready to turn myself in. You can have the Tribrick of Courage if that means I don't have to listen to Rebecca!" Yami grinned up to him, popping in front of him out of nowhere. 

"…" 

"Ne, Kaiba?" 

"I'm going to close my eyes, yes, because this is too easy. There's a golden rule that I have to torture you so you'd give up! Then you become stronger, kick my butt and I'll destroy your descendents later...and they too win over me. Your just playing with my mind!!" almost insanely he spoke, "Yes... that must be it…ehehehhehehe" 

"You're funny Kaiba-kun!" Yami's grinned wider. 

"…No Isis I swear it's just a phase. I just like wearing your expensive clothing…" mumbled the incoherent Malik, who was dangling from Kaiba's fishing rod. 

"Oh no! I'm not falling for that one" Kaiba said, trying to lift himself to his feet and promptly falling back down due to the excessive weight of his armor. "You're supposed to be heading to Mora's Domain!" 

"Oooh I get to go surfing on the web!" Yami mistaking what Kaiba had said. 

"… The REAL Yami wouldn't act this stupid." Kaiba reassured himself. 

"You'd be surprised!" Yami corrected. 

"No, nO, NO, the real Yink would be at Mora's Domain!" 

"I don't know what crazy talk your talking Kaiba, but I got some fish to fry if you catch my drift." 

"…You caught some fish?" Kaiba glared. 

"…You caught some Mokuba?" Yugi glared back, eyeing Mokuba calmly admiring his brother. 

"…Just leave…" Kaiba sighed. 

"Okie-Dokie, I'll just be leaving with Princess Melda" Yugi unhooked Malik from the fishing line and dragged him across the Dominorule Field.   


**End of Chapter 10**

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Sadly, this was pointless and no way moving the plot along… Aw whatever right? Please review! 

Lastly, the next chapter will be narrated by Yugi, because I'm feeling that he's not getting enough lines. 

Yugi: "..." 

YUGI! That was naughty of you! 

Anyways, bye-bye! 


	11. Yugi speaks but a few words

**Millennium Item of Time**

EXTRA!! EXTRA!! READ ALL ABOUT IT!!! 

This is entirely written as Yugi's POV. It's VERY short since it was written a LONG time ago, beginning of October I think. It's considered an extra and isn't a real chapter. I will write one soon I hope. Well, here you are, the adventure across the river to Mora's Domain (Zora's Domain)! 

**_Disclaimer:_** I own nothing! 

**_Warning:_** Some Alcoholic references made. 

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**EXTRA: Yugi's POV River Adventure!**   


"AHHHHHHHH!!! WATER!!" 

You know, it amazes me how much energy he has. Good energy, no, but energy nonetheless. I'm referring to Yami. Yes, it is I, Yugi, fully awake and finding myself here in front of a waterfall, and at the bottom of that waterfall was Yami, jumping off thinking he could reach the doorway to Mora's Domain. You'd think he would get the idea after the 30th time. 

"Water is not my friend…" he pouted as a fish was on top of his head. How he looked silly for an ancient Pharaoh. 

Me? What am I doing? Sitting, chilling, having a bud with my fellows, the Budweiser frogs! On our way up here, I stumbled upon some frogs submerged underwater. What jolly frogs they were. I may be out of it slightly, I mean, come on talking frogs? Ridiculous, there's no such thing, there's only talking horses! But here I was, with frogs that found Yami's out-of-tune Millennium Ocarina tunes delightful… it must the Bud… 

All the time they say, "Bud" "Weis" and "Er", Yami found that annoying and suggested we go French tonight! I defended, saying, "If this were Joey and Tristan, would you eat them?" He responded, "You want to name them Joey and Tristan?" 

I sighed at his logic, this is why I gamble often, to escape reality… okay, so this isn't reality, but I make money despite that. Why I bet on Yami killing the Pegasus Tree, and he did? I won those Deku sticks from Bakura and traded them for some magical beans that I sold them to some idiot. Oh, wait, I sold them to Yami, and he paid with MY money. 

"Aibou…" Now he comes to hear me out. "Aibou? I have an idea, let's roast the frogs and maybe the Mora's will come out in protest and then we'll trap them and eat them too!" 

"Are you hungry Yami?" I asked. 

"Yes, even you're looking rotisserie at the moment…" 

I sighed, I reached into my pocket and pulled a twenty out and handed it to him. He took the money and looked puzzled, "Take this" I said, "and bribe the bouncer" 

"There's A BOUNCER!??!" 

Why wasn't I surprised, Yami didn't even notice that a bouncer was in plain view, standing in front of doorway besides the one at waterfall. The sign read, "Mora's Domain, Invitation only!" 

"Oh…" he said. Was 'Oh' the only word he could say? I watched as he walked up to the Bouncer, taking to him. Sadly, I forgot to instruct him as to how to bribe a bouncer, and he was doing a weird dance, flashing the twenty, if in a seductive manner. I looked up in agony to the sky, why couldn't he do things right! 

Next thing I see is the Bouncer smiling delightfully at Yami. Had Yami succeeded in doing something right? Disappointment struck as I saw that it wasn't true, Yami flipped the bouncer into the water and he too was succumbed to the mighty rivers flow as Malik and himself before him. 

"Let's go, Aibou!" He cheered, as he ran inside, as for me, I had to follow in tow, why? Imagine, THREE Yamis, Yami Bakura, Yami Malik, and my Yami let loose, I ought to prevent disaster by keeping mine's in check. 

Good luck to Bakura and Malik though. They can't control theirs, ha! Wait… neither can I… well whatever I'll follow the guy, I might even win more money! 

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~ 

Next Chapter. 

We finally meet the Princess and King of the Moras! And, what does Kaiba do all day?   



	12. And REALLY Bad Eggs!

**Millennium Item of Time**

I should be ashamed of myself. I left you hanging for so long! Here's a brand new chapter full of Yami and Yugi OC-ness! 

**_Disclaimer:_** I own nothing!   


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**Chapter 11: I love the Fishies cause they're so delicious!**

*Sigh* 

"It's awfully boring without a lackey…" 

*Thump* 

"…grrr… and light armor!!!" 

Seto Kaiba, CEO of Kaiba Corporation sat, or rather laid on the hard floor of his evil lair waiting impatiently for his rival to collect all those Jewels/Stones/Monster Cards so he may swipe them later. 

But, was Yami doing a good job of it? No! According to Kaiba, yesterday's security cameras should Yami sleeping with several fish sticks lying across him. Yugi, the fairy, was off gambling at Mora's Midnight Casino. 

What made it worse was Kaiba couldn't do a thing about it! He'd either fall down the steps to his huge tower hidden in the desert or the sand would get into his hair. If there was one thing he hated it was sand in his hair! 

"What's up, Kaiba!!" an overzealous Malik entered the lair, uninvited. 

For a long period of time, both men stared at one another in an evil vs. evil staring contest. 

"You're bored too?" 

"… Yes…" Malik responded, "Yes I am…. want to play Goldfish while Yami is still on his quest?!?!" 

"No. Why don't you help him FINISH the game?" 

"Look. I play the damsel in distress here. Besides I gave him all the help I could, I fed-ex him a sling shot, two bottles, deku sticks, seeds, two guns, a Mokuba plushy, bombs, hearts, candy, and a playboy magazine. 

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~ 

At Mora's Domain, 

"Delivery for Mr. Yami, the Pharaoh, I, Malik, plan to kill some day!" 

"Um, I'm Mr. Yami, the Supreme Pharaoh that will kill everyone someday for comic relief!" Yami raised his hand. 

"Oh sorry" said the Delivery guy. " Do you know where I could find--?" 

"Give me that!" Yugi yanked the heavy box out of the delivery guy's hand, but he fell from the weight with the box falling on top of him. As Yugi lay beneath the box, his shoes curled up like the witch from the Wizards of Oz. 

"That is such cheap special effects" Yami commented, the Delivery guy nodding in agreement. "O.K. let's see what we have here." He then crouched down to open the contents of the box that was sent to him. "OMG! This is so naughty! I can't believe someone would send me this filth! Who'd dare to send me White Chocolate, it's the worst! Oh whoa, it's a sling shot!!" he tossed the rest of the contents aside. "MWHAHAHA" he took several rocks and well, slayed a couple Mora's… evil Yami! 

"There he is! The evil man who's been causing chaos at our peaceful Mora's Domain" an old Mora pointed towards the group, consisting of the Delivery guy, Yami, and Yugi. 

"Kaiba? Where is he?" 

"No, dude, he's like pointing at you!" the Delivery guy corrected. 

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~ 

All three were dragged into a room, beyond some stairs. They were brought into the presence of the King of the Mora's and his court of Salmon Lackeys. 

"Like, whoa man, like whoa, man… you made a huge mistake. I'm like a Rare Hunter working for Master Malik. He told me to deliver like this package, and like whoa, like whoa, man" 

"Throw him in the brinks for lack of proper grammar" ordered the King of the Mora's. 

"Like WHOA!!!" 

Yami and Yugi looked aghast as the man was dragged off, "Uh, your Highness!" 

"Tee-hee, Yami you said highness! That's funny cause he's big and you said 'your highness', HAHAHAHAHAHA!" 

"Shut up-a, ex-nay on the big-nay" Yugi tried to speak in pig language as to hint Yami of his rudeness, without being noticed. 

Collective gasps spread through the room. 

"… I didn't mean, I-I-I" Yugi was at a lost for word, he felt he was doomed. 

"The little one, he speaks of our language!" King Mora exclaimed. "Tonight we feast!" 

"…Oh crap…" the Salmon Lackey's simultaneously spoke. 

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~ 

At the salmon feast, later that same day, 

"Ah, this is a fine feast this is!" the King of the Mora's spoke happily. 

"Hey!" the voice belonging to Yami interrupted. "My bottle of expensive champagne has a letter inside!" 

"What? Where'd you get that from?" 

"Um, well—Look the letter is from someone in distress!" Yami waved the bottle around. 

"Great distraction, Yami." Yugi hiccupped, he too joined Yami when they made their way to the Royal Wine Cellar to steal a couple of bottles. They finished around 5 and were still standing! 

"It says… 

**Dear Idiot that I will marry!**   
**I need help. I can't be seen without my makeup! Not that I'm superficial or anything, but I might frighten some kids. The stupid, ungrateful, fish, Lord Mabu Mabu (A/N: Lord Jabu Jabu) swallowed me after I tried giving him a makeover. Sorry, but that foo' looked _ugly_. My makeup ran after I fell in some unwanted liquid. Max Factor lied when they said it was waterproof!**

  
**Signed.**   
**Queen of the Moras, once the old man dies."**

"What, my daughter is missing! I must ask of you two strangers to venture off and find my daughter! KEEP YOUR LANDLUBBING HANDS OFF OF HER!! " 

"If she looks like you, then I don't see the problem," shuddered Yami. 

"I'll move out of the way so you may proceed down this cave to Lord Mabu Mabu" 

"Say what does this button do?" 

"No don't touch that button!" Yami didn't heed the warning. He'd found a button at the side of King of the Mora's that said, **Do Not Touch** but he touched anyways. 

"Yami! He's inflating!" 

"Aibou, you NEVER look at the situation through my perspective. I just cleared the path to get to Lord Mabu Mabu!" 

"Ah-ha" a figure emerged from the inflated "It is I, Mako Tsunami, I am one with the sea!" (A/N. King Zora + Mako = King Mora) 

"Mako, your King Mora!" Yugi yelled. 

"Yes my friends, it is I, Mako Tsunami, I hear the fishes call me! I was merely being one with the fellow fish, pretending to a fish of the sea myself! I" 

"That's a lovely trick…" Yami silently stood in front of Mako, and then he pushed him off the pedestal that he sat on before " Outta the way!" 

"No, my friends, I'm flowing towards the waterfall!" 

"Seriously Yami, stop killing my friends!" Yugi scolded. 

"He's fine!" assured Yami. 

"AHHHHHHHHH!! My friends, my bones break against the crushing current!" the faint yells of Mako echoed to the Hero and Fairy. 

**End of Chapter 11**

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Ah my friends, I can't write more, I wish I could! I ran out of ideas, oh how I did! Hopefully I'll have the next chapter up soon. Sorry for the long delay. As always, reviews are kindly appreciated. Comments? Questions? Suggestions? Either review or contact me! Thank you!   


**To my Reviewers: (this is from chapter 9 and above)**

yami blue eyes white dragon - Thank you! Thank you! I don't know how many times I can thank you for being so nice to me and reading my fic! Thank you so very much! 

Black Velvet Princess – Nope most of the manga isn't in the anime, at least not much. The first series of YGO did have some stories, but that series of YGO isn't as interesting as this the current series. Thank you for reading and reviewing! 

SennenHimemiya – I'm glad your back. I wish you'd write more! I miss someone else writing for once. But I understand the lack of updates; I have been a lazy and frustrated person as of late. Please do write more chapters for your stories! Thanks! 

Megiri – Sorry for the LONG wait. I hope I don't disappoint you! Thank you for reviewing! 

prep-empress86 – The only meat I eat is Turkey cuz they're just as evil as the Chicken Mafia. BWHAHAHA! 

Kimmi23 – Rebecca won't be Ruto, I assure you. I gave someone else the role, cuz well at first I thought between two women for the job and one I like more. I kind of like Ruto… don't know why… Thanks for your support! 

ash3412 – I never thanked you for correcting me. I know when I wrote it, I forgot her name and I confused a lot of the things. I'll hopefully fix everything soon! Thank you! 

Final Spirit – I have Malik in the story as Zelda because I love him too much not to have him as a main character. I love five people, that's Kaiba, Yugi, Yami no Yugi, Malik, and Joey. I fitted nearly everyone except Malik. I thought wait, maybe I ought to give whom'd I intended for Zelda to someone else and have Malik as one of the main characters. The decision I was left with was Malik, Yami no Yugi, and Kaiba as Zelda, Gannondorf, and Link. I the best scenario turned out Malik as Zelda, Yami no Yugi as Link, and Kaiba as Gannondorf. I don't know. It made more sense than the other combinations. Sorry about that. Thanks for reviewing. 

Crystal Kitty - I'll try to keep up, thanks for liking my story! It makes me so happy. I'm also happy you told someone else of my story. I love that you feel others should read too! Thank you so much! 

Earendil=Beloved Star – Why thank you! I'm glad you find it funny! I have to thank Crystal Kitty for recommending me. 

Nobody – I'll try to, I really will! Thank you! 

SennenHimemiya – I hate AOL period. Well at least you reviewed, thanks! 

Angel – I never played Majora's Mask. I couldn't afford the expansion pack. Was it good? My friend told me it was weird and different but I never looked it up. I was always in love with Ocarina of Time. 

LinkGirl – I AGREE! I love Ocarina of Time with a passion. YGO is one of the best animes to come in a long time. My old love Dragonball Z does rival YGO though, but I love YGO a bit more. Thank you for reviewing!   


**_Random Ranting:_** I'm mad! They have yet to start the Eyptian Arc in the anime. They're having way too many out of manga episodes! I like out of manga episodes to an extent, but when Noa's arc (which I love) comes out between the Battle City Semi-finals and Finals, it gets tiring. Right now I'm watching Doom. Oh and I wanted to use Noa in this story and now I can since the secret is out! MWHAHAHA! Everyone praise Noa! 


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